Rambling

I’ve finished two more poems for competitions today (which I won’t post here until after the results have been announced, just in case). It struck me so powerfully, as I was writing them, how much I’ve missed this. For about four years I haven’t been able to write much, and I don’t think I realised how badly it hurt until now. One poem I’ve just written, called ‘Sphere-shaped Emptiness’ has hit me so hard that my heart won’t calm down. I don’t think I’ve ever written a poem that’s affected me so much. It makes no sense, and it might be rubbish, but to me it will always be one of my most memorable writings. I hope I can share it on here one day.

I also realised how much I missed listening to music while writing, and how it stirs my writing soul (so cliche sounding, I know, but I’m in that mood). Not music with lyrics, because that distracts me. For the three poems I’ve written over the last two days I’ve been listening to Erutan’s The Court Of Leaves album, and the Mushishi anime soundtrack.

I think today has really solidified my resolve to never stop writing again, no matter what. I have always loved it, and I always will, whether unpublished forever or not. I’m not my complete self without it, and I just find everyday challenges harder without its relief. So I feel I should say thank you, because without this blog I wouldn’t have had a reason to force myself back into a routine and passion I forgot just how much is a part of me. There’s still twenty-three days until the Creative Writing Masters course open day, so I plan to keep writing and build up a portfolio they can’t say no to when I apply. But if financial status means I can’t go on the course, I’ll focus more on the novelisation of Fallen Wing (as well as this blog, of course).