22:7
True Thomas
Gather around, rejoice good folks!
I’ve come to entertain,
as you eat and drink, listen well
you may avoid great pain.
A threat? No, you misunderstand
there’s no need for alarm
I meant that I can prophesy,
foretelling future harm.
A quack? How rude, I speak the truth,
calm down and take a seat.
This pub’s owner was smart to see
I offer no deceit.
Now let me begin with my past,
it will explain some things.
Perhaps then you can understand
the caution that it brings.
Back when I was young and foolish,
I often bunked off school.
Shocking, I know, seeing me now,
but I used to be cool.
At a park, I hid in the woods,
and dozed beneath a tree.
A young woman came riding by,
a startling sight to see.
It was a pure white mare she rode,
beautiful to behold.
The maiden’s hair was wavy blonde,
with eyes so blue, but cold.
I assumed she was in roleplay,
with clothes so old-fashioned,
with a silk dress, grass green, and long,
her gold cloak unfastened.
‘You,’ she called out as I stood up
her tone less than impressed,
‘I need to find an adult man,
which way do you suggest?’
‘Oh, did you lose your cosplay group?’
I chuckled with a wink.
‘Maybe it’s better you stay here,
nerds in costumes stink.’
She looked cross, but very pretty
not much older than me.
I made the choice to stop teasing
and win the heart of she.
‘Apologies, my Queen of Heaven,
can I be of service?’
I took a deep, flamboyant bow,
acting cute and nervous.
She sighed and rolled her eyes at me
but couldn’t hide a smile.
Perhaps I’d get a date from this,
make my effort worthwhile.
‘Heaven? No, I’m not that holy.
I am queen of Elfland.
In fact, would you like to visit?
It’s enchanting, yet grand.’
Role playing groups? I found them lame,
but to her I said yes.
I’d put up with a bunch of nerds
to get under her dress.
She bade me mount and sit behind,
her horse did not seem pleased.
With no stirrups to help me up
its tail I had to seize.
I clung to her as we set off
beginning to feel ill,
motion sickness was my weakness,
but I had a stubborn will.
Because of this I missed the route
that led to three strange paths.
With spinning head, I clambered down
and heard the lady laugh.
‘Come, you’ll need a stronger stomach
to travel down this road.
Let me explain the choices here,
that much I feel is owed.
‘See the narrow path to the left,
with bushes and thorns it swells?
Justify your moral actions;
it is the path to hell.
‘That broad road far to the right,
hidden for discretion,
that leads to lands of wickedness,
but some folk call it heaven.’
I guessed she was an atheist
from this harsh description.
I wondered how long she’d rehearsed
these speeches of fanfiction.
‘Now, see the straight and clear road,
not overgrown or bland,
a perfect riding track we have
to take us to Elfland.’
By this time it was getting dark,
with no clue where we were.
I had to choose if I should leave
or keep pursuing her.
We didn’t climb back on the horse
but watched it trot ahead.
Instead, we spotted apple trees,
to which the lady led.
‘Accept this gift I give to you,
eat up now, don’t be shy.
Once you consume a single bite
you’ll never again lie.’
It sounded like an awful perk,
but still I played along.
I hadn’t eaten since breakfast,
what really could go wrong?
I didn’t notice right away,
she’d caught me in her curse,
from that day I was True Thomas
and could only talk in verse.
I followed her to Elfland,
were seven years soon passed.
though I cannot speak of what I saw,
for those words would be my last.
I have returned to mortal lands
able to see your doom.
If you’d take me seriously
I could save all in this room.
I foretold of the pandemic,
and the passing of the Prince.
I warned you of what Putin would do.
But still you’re not convinced!
Perhaps this one you’ll listen to,
and save yourselves from fall.
Do what you can to circumvent
the greatest threat of all…
Scribbled Thoughts 