Scribbled Thoughts

22:35

Handsome & the Hideous

XII

The anguish cry was beyond grief and pain,

a sound that signalled the end of all hope.

Jeremy sprinted into the west wing for the first

and last time, the confining castle walls

reverberating with the long, sorrowful howl.

The bedroom door was open, frantic phantoms

pouring in, desperate to save their last chance,

trying to revive a dead man, pressing down

on his chest or dribbling liquid through his slack lips.

Others came with weapons.

Knives, fire pokers, wooden planks, shovels and hammers,

ready to attack the creature who’d failed them.

Suddenly the noise stopped, and the world

fell into stillness, silent and untouchable.

Jeremy felt the dream of flesh disappear,

the human world beyond the bubble they could

never pop. A love he could never claim.

The suspended moment snapped into violence.

Deadly objects plunged towards the mistress’s

monstrous body. Some turned on Handsome’s corpse,

stabbing in rage or beating with bare fists,

lost hope fuelling the desire for desperate

release of…anything!

Like an infectious wave Jeremy saw it

consume her. She wrenched off her gloves,

backhanding a few invisible foes in the process.

She dug her claws through the fabric of her dress,

ripping a giant opening from which her shamed body

emerged. A different howl escaped her,

angry and wild. Huge hands targeted the wall,

nails digging in deep and cracking stone.

She kicked at the bed, wood splintering,

her eyes were savage as they rested on

Handsome’s still form.

Jeremy retreated from the room, knowing

he could no longer reach her.

There was no saving the west wing

from the household’s chaotic grief.

Two days of blind destruction left little intact.

Even Jeremy’s garden did not survive.

He had anticipated the ruin and saved

The edelweiss, storing them in portable pots

and hiding them in his underground shelter.

He remained there, patient, until he heard

a sorrowful howl and the smell of burning.

He left his sanctuary, emerging into an area

once covered in flowers but now scattered with their remains.

It was night, the moon was full, but flames

from the castle tinged the view with smoke.

The whole building was burning, and his mistress

was by his hiding spot’s entrance, entranced by the

silver globe and howling, hoping one last time.

He presented a precious edelweiss to her,

the heartbroken noise fading out as she noticed.

‘I’m glad I found you here,’ she spoke, voice weary,

as though even words were too hard now.

‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t break the curse.’

Jeremy tried placing the edelweiss in one of her hands,

and noticed the knife she held.

‘Please,’ she begged now, her gaze finding

his invisible one, still seeing him, like always.

‘Please save me.’

Like everyone else, he knew the curse by heart,

‘Only by one who truly loves you can a fatal wound be dealt.’

He gently took the offered knife

and watched her melt to the ground,

gaze never leaving his, gripping his edelweiss.

‘I love you, always,’ he said.

The response in her eyes made it possible

to believe she’d heard him.

He was still saying it, sobbing,

as he forced the dagger into her heart.

A ragged breath left her,

a relieved smile softening her face.

He held her large body as best as he could

as the light faded from her eyes.

She didn’t change back into who she once was,

he preferred it that way.

He didn’t want to hold a dead stranger.

He widened the opening to his shelter,

dragging her body inside, so no one could harm it.

He knew they’d felt her death,

they’d all felt the moment their

half-existence became permanently,

all hope of breaking the curse dead with her.

But he’d do it again, always, to free her.

Outside their haven the world continued to burn,

the castle a smouldering ruin,

his garden a trampled dream.

The forest was aglow, ghostly apparitions

sparking flames as they left forever.

There was no reason to stay any longer.

When Jeremy emerged there was nothing left.

He spent years, lifetimes, finding materials

to build his mistress a worthy, final resting place.

A tomb fit for a queen, with only

an edelweiss carving engraved on its surface.

Some say he remains there,

the tomb surrounded by a wondrous garden.

Some hope he left, and found some peace

by viewing human life around him.

As for the others…

When a bump in the night scares you,

or a shiver runs down your spine,

when the stirrings of ghosts surround you

recognise this as a sign.

They came from the land of dead whispers.

They are felt but are unseen.

Their curse can never be broken,

because they failed their queen.

22:34

Handsome & the Hideous

XI

The queen embraced her name as Rose,

longing for Handsome’s love,

but acts of sexual desire

proved not to be enough.

He no longer flinched at her looks

and enjoyed her company,

but if she asked whether he loved her

he’d answer reluctantly:

‘I could lie to spare your feelings

but it wouldn’t set you free,

if death wasn’t waiting for me

this place I’d happily flee.’

She believed his words with all her heart

but would not start to mope,

to save her people from this life

he was her only hope.

As time moved on her focus slipped,

with each laugh, with each meal.

The longer she stayed by his side

her feelings grew more real.

Still, he never uttered the words

that would release their curse.

In fifty years his health declined

and steadily grew worse.

Rose refused to leave his side

when he began to fade,

in pain, he smiled and confessed to her

how glad he was he stayed.

His breath grew laboured, he could not eat,

his time was short, they knew.

His gaze met hers, resigned with peace,

he said, ‘Rose, I-’

And then he died.

22:33

Handsome & the Hideous

X

She’d tossed the hat and veil aside,

refusing to hide any longer.

All was laid bare now, so suffering

endless itching was a pointless torment.

She kept the dress and gloves on,

feeling long-forgotten bashfulness

and shame at her previous state of undress.

Despite Handsome’s reaction, she was hopeful

when he ran to the west wing instead of the forest,

where he’d risk death to leave.

She exited the hall to head outside,

but it was not the moon who called her tonight.

The last few weeks had restored

some human insight and she longed

to be near her faithful companion.

To confess, before she severed their connection.

Jeremy was not tending to his plants.

A panic gripped the queen,

a hole opening in her heart.

A desperate, agonised howl escaped,

startling any half-life servants nearby.

A hatch door opened in the earth,

hidden amongst the rose garden,

and she calmed as a bouquet of

tulips and edelweiss rushed towards her.

Hopeless love. Eternal love.

‘I’m sorry I never acknowledged your feelings before,’

she choked out, taking the flowers,

‘and now he is here, I never can.

But I love-loved you, and I will set you free.

I will break this curse.’

She was patient, animal instincts quelled

as purpose resurfaced her human rationality.

She gave Handsome a week,

letting the servants serve his food in

the safety of the west wing,

before she renewed the dinner dates.

They moved to a drawing room

once used for post-supper drinks

and the puffing of cigars.

Handsome appreciated both, his daily

intake of alcohol a need she tried to ignore,

the burn of tar his new signature scent.

Her throne was discarded as she crammed

into a chair his size, willing away discomfort.

She ate food that she did not taste

and averted her gaze to avoid staring.

‘I can’t leave,’ Handsome slurred,

‘I’m a criminal and will be hanged.

But I can’t love you either, it’s impossible.’

He stared at her as he spoke,

flinching at her looks, but still looking.

‘Then let’s be friends,’ she said, calm,

undeterred by his answer.

She had his whole lifetime to change his mind.

Daylight did not deter them any longer,

taking regular strolls outside,

Handsome unseeing while she always

searched for another.

‘You like flowers, don’t you?’ Handsome observed

as she accepted a rose from an invisible hand.

‘Yes,’ she smiled, sharing a secret glance with Jeremy.

‘I love them.’

‘Then that’s what I’ll call you,’ Handsome announced,

snatching the flower from her and holding it in the air.

She suppressed a snarl. ‘Rose.’

Naming her boosted his confidence,

like a master who’d tamed a difficult dog.

He talked of his past crimes with haughty gusto,

expecting no reprimand or even opinion.

She kept her thoughts quiet,

knowing a docile demeaner was what he desired.

As months passed, he talked more

of his female conquests, lust in his eyes

as he lingered on detailed carnal memories.

She saw him focusing on her breasts,

following her human curves.

His body betrayed his want,

too drunk to care how ugly she was.

She hesitated only a moment, thinking of Jeremy’s

faded but endless existence before she took

Handsome’s hands, placing them on her breasts.

His hunger erupted, squeezing, teasing,

and shoving her legs apart

to slake his needs and deflower a queen.

She had suffered a hideous punishment

by refusing the sorcerer,

now she threw away her dignity, willingly,

for a chance to end it.

22:32

Handsome & the Hideous

IX

He released the knife and jumped away,

eager to see her last breath.

Instead, she drew out the weapon

showing no signs of death.

She reached up and removed her veil,

revealing the face beneath,

she stabbed the knife into the table

and smiled to bare her teeth.

‘Will this quell your longing to slay me?

Will you accept your fate?

None can kill the beast of the castle

with a heart filled with such hate.’

‘But why won’t you die? What do you want?

What’s the point of this charade?

Will you keep me here forever

to have all your rules obeyed?’

The creature sat back on her throne

as Handsome fought his fright.

She closed her eyes, their lid flickering

and began to recite:

‘You will be visible and heard,

but long to be deceased.

Your beautiful form will melt away,

becoming a hideous beast.

‘Ages will pass, your kingdom will perish,

but wounds will not be felt.

Only by one who truly loves you

can a fatal wound be dealt.

‘To end this curse there is one way,

to escape your disgrace,

you must find one willing to say

I love you to your face.’

She opened her eyes, catching his gaze,

vulnerable to the core,

this terrified him more than her rage,

viewing emotions so raw.

‘You want me to fall in love with you

in order to set you free?’

He shook his head at her small nod

and turned his back to flee.

In his room he curled into himself,

the truth he could now conceive.

He was trapped, he could not kill her,

and he could never leave.