Scribbled Thoughts

Chapter Six

Distractions

‘So your sister passed her exam?’ Lennie asked as he placed boxes of fruit on the stall.

            ‘Yeah,’ I said, eyeing him with distrust. ‘Iris did too. They’re in the higher learning building now.’

            ‘I missed so much while I was ill.’ He sighed, attempting a smile. ‘How are things with your father?’

            ‘Fine; it’s the same as it used to be.’

            ‘Is that what you wanted?’

            ‘What do you care?’ I snapped, ‘I thought you’d be happy he’s such a loyal servant again!’

            For a month since coming back Father had been hinting about Ignatius, about the role I could still play.

            ‘Don’t you want to make something of yourself? Working for an immortal is a great achievement.’

            I had to bite back my retort.

            I already am.

            Lennie let out a pained sigh.

            ‘Dimitri, I know my appearance must seem strange, but please trust me when-’

            ‘Trust you?’ I laughed, ‘I will never trust someone like you.’

            ‘Not everyone like me is associated with Ignatius.’ He said, his voice making me quiver. ‘In the future we may become your lifeline. Don’t dismiss us so easily.’

            His eyes were so earnest and intense I felt guilty.

            Don’t be fooled.

            I looked away.

            ‘If that’s true, then tell me who you are. Why are you here? What were you really doing when you were ‘ill’?’

            ‘I can’t.’

            My jaw clenched.

            See, don’t trust anyone, you’ll only be disappointed.

            Five minutes of the suffocating atmosphere was all I could cope with.

            ‘Can I go do the deliveries?’ I asked, already grabbing the hotel box.

            ‘Yes.’ Lennie said, ‘That can be your job from now on.’

            Should I just quit? No, I can’t rely on Father to support us; even Mum won’t give up her job. Besides, if I stay near Lennie he might slip up. I’ll break their hold over Father.

---

I opened our front door cautiously, surprised to see Iris on the other side.

            ‘Hello.’ She smiled, ‘Can I come in?’

            ‘Annie isn’t here.’ I blurted out, ‘She’s shopping with Mum.’

            ‘I know.’ She grinned, ‘They went to my mother’s stall.’

            ‘Father isn’t here either.’ I continued, my face feeling warm. ‘He’s on a three day trading trip.’

            ‘I know.’ She laughed, ‘I came to see you.’

            My face felt like it was on fire.

            ‘O-oh, c-come in.’ I moved aside, clumsily shutting the door. ‘D-do you want some tea?’

            ‘Sure.’ She said, leading the way. ‘When I realised no one else was here, I had to come. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Did you miss me?’

            I stumbled into a cabinet, placing the kettle onto the already lit stove.

            ‘S-sorry, I’ve been busy.’      

            Avoiding everyone. I added silently.

            ‘Annie said you’re getting wrinkles from worrying about everything. You need to have more fun.’

            ‘Annie’s worried about me?’ I asked, startled. I’d barely seen my sister since she’d started her new class.

            Iris’ light laughter stopped all thoughts in my head.

            ‘See? Now you’re worried about being worried!’

            I frowned, automatically grabbing the kettle beginning to screech.

            ‘No one needs to worry about me.’

            She had moved closer, right beside me. My shaking hands spilt hot water when trying to pour it into our cups.

            Iris laughed again, gently taking the kettle. Her hand touched mine and I almost flinched at the pleasant tingling that followed.

            ‘You’re such a good person, Dimi.’ She said, placing the kettle down and raising one hand to rest on my cheek. I stopped breathing. ‘You deserve to have something good too.’

            And then she kissed me.

---

‘Hi Cedron, haven’t seen you in a while.’ I smiled, watching as he wheeled a small cart of groceries to our stall. He raised an eyebrow.

            ‘Someone’s chipper this morning; are you going to reveal your secret?’

            I just smiled.

            ‘He’s been like this for two weeks.’ Lennie said, ‘Not that I’m complaining.’

            ‘So where have you been?’ I insisted, ‘That other trader’s goods aren’t as fresh or cheap as yours.’

            ‘I had a different job in Haven, guarding the Duke’s daughter.’

            ‘That’s impressive.’ Lennie smiled; a strained smile. ‘I didn’t realise you had bodyguard skills.’

            Cedron shrugged, unloading the cart to the stall tables.

            ‘It was her fifteenth birthday so there was a big festival. I was just hired for reassurance. She was a sweet kid though; she’ll make a fine ruler one day.’

            ‘Married off to one of the King’s sons, most likely.’ Lennie remarked. Cedron’s easy smile dropped. ‘I’d think carefully before getting too involved with the Duke, Cedron, it could only end badly.’

            ‘I know that, old man.’ Cedron sighed, ‘I know.’

            I walked to the town’s entrance with him, taking the hotel’s delivery.

            ‘Cedron, do you trust Lennie?’

            He stared down at me in surprise, then took a moment to give a serious answer.

            ‘He’s a strange old man, that’s for sure. I can’t help feeling he’s hiding his true self.’

            I shifted the box in my hands nervously.

            ‘…But his advice has always been sound, so I think if he was going to stab me in the back one day, he’d warn me first. If he’s let you in on his secret, I think you’re safe, kid.’

            ‘What if he didn’t tell me? I accidentally found out.’

            ‘In that case, if he hasn’t killed you yet and still treating you like a friend, he must have decided to trust you.’

            I flinched.

            ‘There’s something about you-’

            ‘Dimitri? What are you doing here?’

            I looked up, seeing Father catch up to my side. I stopped.

            ‘Father?’ I stared, beginning to panic. ‘What’s wrong? Is Mum okay?’

            Father frowned.

            ‘What are you babbling about? She’s fine. Don’t you ever listen when I talk to you? I’m leaving for another trading run. Now answer me, what are you doing here?’

            ‘I-I was seeing Cedron to the entrance, then going to do the deliveries.’ I said, head down.

            Father noticed Cedron then, his eyes widening.

            ‘A fellow countryman?’

            ‘Indeed.’ Cedron smiled, ‘Although one not as gifted.’

            Father noticed his eyes for the first time and scoffed in disgust.

            ‘Hardly a countryman then. Have you been sprouting heresy to my son?’

            ‘I have said nothing. He has the right to decide.’

            ‘Boy!’ I jumped. ‘Leave now, I don’t want you to see this man again.’      

            ‘But-’

            Father turned to face me and I trembled.

            ‘If you ever listen to this man’s nonsense I will disown you, understood?’

            Cedron gave a quick wink behind Father. My throat was too dry to speak. I nodded, turned, and walked away as fast as I could.

            What was that about?

---

‘You have frown wrinkles again.’ Iris teased, poking my forehead.

            ‘Sorry.’ I said, leaning down on my pillow. After sleeping under the bed so long I’d forgotten how soft it was. ‘Do you think Annie’s still prowling the kitchen?’

            Iris laughed, lying down next to me. My heart was pounding in my ears.

            ‘Are you still that nervous being alone with me?’

            ‘It’s not that. It’s…I’m worried about your reputation.’

            ‘My what?’

            ‘If grown-ups go into a bedroom alone, people talk about it.’

            ‘We’re not grown-ups.’

            ‘I know, but I’m still worried.’

            ‘Dimi, people don’t care about kids going in a room to kiss.’

            I frowned.

            ‘What do grown-ups do differently then?’

            Iris’ face suddenly looked strained, trying to stay neutral.

            ‘Haven’t your parents given you the talk yet?’

            ‘The talk?’

            ‘You know, about what married people do.’

            ‘Oh, no. Father said he’ll tell me on my thirteenth birthday.’

            ‘Well, trust me, kids don’t do it, and that’s the only thing that people talk about. We definitely don’t do that. We haven’t even kissed properly.’

             ‘We haven’t?’

            ‘No, I saw some older kids behind school do it once. Want to try?’

            Before I could answer she leaned closer and kissed me.

            ‘Keep your mouth open.’ She said, and kissed me again. I felt something enter my mouth and instinctively drew back.

            ‘W-what?’ I spluttered. Iris just laughed, but her eyes looked disappointed.

            ‘That’s what they did, used their tongues.’ She sighed, climbing off the bed. ‘Come on, I feel cruel leaving Annie alone.’

---

Aaron wasn’t in the kitchen the next morning. I frowned until I heard someone giggling near the staff stairs. I put the deliver down, moving closer. Aaron was with a girl I’d seen at breakfast for the last week. Their lips were locked, and I spotted his tongue slip into her mouth.

            I quickly retraced my steps and began the breakfast alone. I was halfway through when Aaron emerged with the girl, clearing his throat.

            ‘Oh, hello Dint. You know Sara, right?’

            ‘Table six.’ I said, smiling, hoping my face wasn’t bright red.

            She smiled politely and turned back to Aaron, giving a little wave before heading into the eating room.

            ‘Thanks for giving us some space, man.’ Aaron grinned. ‘That girl is one great kisser.’

            ‘No problem.’

            Breakfast was almost ready before I’d worked up the courage to ask.

            ‘How do you kiss with your tongue?’

            ‘How? You stick it in there and massage her tongue with yours.’ He shrugged at my blank look. ‘Why, you got a girl?’

            I nodded.

            ‘You have? For how long?’

            ‘Two weeks, but now she wants to use tongues and-’ I didn’t finish, too embarrassed.

            ‘Well, I guess you have your little secrets.’ He said, one hand going to his chest in mock-hurt. ‘Why don’t you practice first?’

            He picked up an egg and winked at me before beginning to kiss it. I gaped as he planted soft kisses, then began to gently massage it with his tongue.

             He looks ridiculous!

            ‘You try it,’ He said, tossing me an egg.

            I stared at it, wrinkling my nose.

            ‘You wanna impress your girl, right?’

            I started to kiss the egg like Aaron had, then poked my tongue out to lick it. There was a crack and my mouth was flooded with egg yolk.

            Aaron fell to the floor while I spat out yolk. My whole body shook and I was laughing too, clutching my ribs from lack of air.

            ‘Hey, where’s my breakfast?’ A customer demanded.

Chapter Five

Ascend

‘He’s late down, that’s unusual.’ Aaron said, taking the screeching copper kettle off the stove. ‘Do you want to take a mug of tea to his room?’

            My nausea made it hard to answer. My forehead was prickled with sweat.

            ‘It’s your choice, Dint,’ he said, setting the mug near me. ‘He’s in room three.’

            I waited until Aaron turned to wash up before grabbing the mug. Its contents splashed against its sides, spilling onto my trembling hands.

            The stairs leading to the rooms w                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ere to the left of the eating room.  These were for the guests, so I took the staff stairs at the far end of the kitchen. The walls were narrow and their path steep. More tea escaped, turning my skin an angry red. The door at the top was heavy, leading out near Aaron’s and his father’s room. The first numbered door was twenty.

            I moved down the corridor, an annoyed huff escaping. My feet brought me to number three too quickly. I stood frozen outside.

            What am I doing here?

            I swapped the mug to my left hand, drying my right on my vest top.

            Do I even want him to come home?

            I ignored the thought and knocked. My breath hitched in dread, the mug trembling again. I stamped my foot and bit the inside of my mouth.

            No. Not now, you’re doing this.

            After the fourth knock a slurred voice answered.

            ‘I’ll be there in a minute, Aaron.’

            ‘F-father?’ I gritted my teeth, my right arm grabbing the left to step the shaking. ‘I need to talk to you.’

            I heard him stumble inside, then curse.

            ‘It’s open.’

            Damn him. I cursed, forced to let my left arm go to open the door. It was still shaking.

            The room was spacious, with a double bed at its centre. The walls were pale, so the sun’s strong rays wouldn’t reflect off and dazzle people. The window was at the far side, the wooden blinds down. It even had its own privy hole, built as an extra little room, and a bathing tub.

            The floor was a mess; covered in empty bottles, bags with ash spilling out, and half written letters scrunched up.

            Father was sprawled out face down on the floor close to the bed, making no attempt to move.

            ‘Dimitri? What are you doing here?’ he squinted up at me, resting his chin on his hands.

            ‘What are you doing on the floor?’ The shaking had stopped, my voice had the same dead-pan tone Mum had last night. ‘Get up and drink your tea.’

            He blinked at me, studying my expression. At last he reached a decision, hauling himself off the floor and sliding into a sitting position on the bed. I handed him the mug and began picking up the bottles and paper.

            ‘It’s half-empty, and it’s not very strong,’ he complained. My answering glare surprised both of us; he drank without another word.

            ‘This has to stop Father,’ I said, not looking up from my task. ‘It’s pathetic.’

            ‘Pathetic!’ He roared, jumping to his feet and smashing the mug against the wall. ‘How dare you, boy!’

            ‘It’s that temper that got you here in the first place!’ I screamed back, facing him. ‘If you don’t start controlling yourself, you’re going to lose her!’

            His red face flinched as though I’d slapped him, his mouth hanging open. He gritted his teeth, a sob escaping.

            Pathetic.

            I ignored him as I finished picking up the rubbish, refusing to touch the bags of ash.

            ‘I’m going to get hot water for a bath. You need to clean yourself up before seeing Mum.’

            I picked up as much rubbish as I could and left the room without looking at him.

            The shaking returned the moment I closed the door.

---

‘What about clothes?’ Aaron pointed out, ‘He can’t stay in that tub forever.’

            I winced.

            ‘I’ll have to go to Marge’s stall and buy some fabric. I can sew some clothes, but he doesn’t know Mum taught me. He’ll kill me if he sees me doing women’s work.’

            Aaron shook his head.

            ‘It would take too long. Him and my dad are similar sizes, I’ll see if he has any spare clothes. They won’t be fancy, but at least they’ll be clean.’

            ‘Dimi?’ Annie’s small voice spoke at the kitchen’s entrance. ‘What’s going on?’

            I waited for Aaron to disappear up the staff stairs before going to her.

            ‘Annie, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school?’

            Her worried look turned to annoyance.

            ‘We only have morning classes for the rest of the week so we can prepare for exams. I told you this!’

            ‘Okay.’ I said, not bothering to say sorry, ‘So why are you here?’

            ‘Mary said you were either here or back home.’ She frowned, ‘Why are you here?’

            ‘I’m fixing things.’ I sighed, taking a deep breath. ‘Annie, can you tell Mary I can’t come back today? And you should spend the day at Iris’ house, do your work there.’

            ‘But why?’

            ‘Just listen to your big brother, okay?’

            She stared at me, unblinking. I stared over at the stairs, praying Aaron wouldn’t come back.

            ‘Okay, but I’m coming back for evening meal.’

            I grinned and hugged her.

            ‘And it’ll be the best one we’ve had in ages!’

---

‘That’s your plan?’ Father moaned, running a hand over his clean scalp. ‘Show up for dinner and say sorry?’

            ‘It’s up to you now.’ I shrugged, folding his dirty clothes. ‘You have to gain her trust back.’

            ‘That won’t be easy.’

            ‘Well, either try or don’t.’

            Either you want us or you don’t.

            ‘Remember, if you’re the last one there, you have to wash the dishes.’ I said, closing the door behind me.

---

‘Honestly Dimitri, what’s wrong with you?’

            ‘Nothing.’ I muttered, glaring at the door.

            Mum sighed and piled up the empty plates.

            ‘I’m sorry if he got your hopes up sweetie, but-’

            The front door knob rattled, followed by a curse, then a dignified loud knock.

            ‘Annie, didn’t you leave your school books at Iris’? Let’s go get them.’   

            ‘Huh?’ Annie started as I dragged her to the front door.

            ‘Dimi?’ Mum asked in a warning tone. I ignored it and opened the front door.

            ‘Daddy!’ Annie yelled, trying to escape my grasp.

            ‘Later,’ I promised, walking past him and heading down the street. ‘Let him and Mum talk first.’

---

‘He’s back!’ Marge squawked, dumping the biscuit tray down on the table.

            ‘Dimi made him come back.’ Annie gushed, still snuggling up to Iris. ‘Now he’ll come home and everything will be good again.’

            Marge shot me a withering glare that made my throat dry up.

            ‘I better go over there and check Lily’s alright.’ She snarled, quickly leaving the room. A moment later the front door slammed.

            ‘Daddy wouldn’t hurt Mummy, would he? Last time was an accident…’

            ‘That’s right, Mum is just a good friend and worrying for nothing,’ Iris smiled. ‘You’ll see.’

            Within ten minutes Annie was asleep, still snuggled up to Iris. I smiled at her, trying to block out my growing doubt.

            ‘You’re so brave, doing what you did.’ Iris whispered, smiling at me. ‘I wish I was that brave.’

            Her gaze made my face heat up. She was so close her nose bumped mine. I drew back.

            ‘Hey, I can’t lean any closer without waking Annie.’

            I let out a shuddering breath and leaned closer, letting our noses touch. I felt Iris’ smile as she kissed me.

            The front door slammed shut. We sprung apart. I saw Annie stir but didn’t wake, a smile on her face.

            Marge came in, red faced and angry.

            ‘Is everything alright?’ Iris asked.

            ‘Oh they’re fine. In their own world.’ Marge muttered, looking at Annie. ‘She should sleep here tonight. She can go to school with you in the morning.’

            ‘What about Dimitri?’

            Marge looked at me and sniffed.

            ‘He works early; I don’t want him waking us all up.’

            ‘It’s alright; I need some fresh clothes for tomorrow.’

---

            The front door was unlocked; I crept in, holding my breath. Some chairs were knocked over in the kitchen, but nothing broken. I strained my ears, hearing Mum’s voice from their bedroom, soft and unworried.

            The dirty plates were still on the table. I sighed and dumped them in the washing bowl, rinsing them with cold water.

Chapter Four

 Descend

After six months working for Lennie I still didn’t trust him. Today was no exception.

            ‘What do you mean he’s sick?’

            Mary tutted at me while I finished setting up the tables.

            ‘Honestly boy, you must have noticed how dreadful he looked yesterday.’

            He looked fine to me. But he also looked thirty years younger.

            ‘People kept saying he looked pale.’ I said at last.

            ‘Exactly, so it’s up to you today. Now, I’ll mind the stall while you make the deliveries. The products are all ready in boxes; you just need to take them.’

            I fought the urge to roll my eyes and grabbed the nearest box.

            ‘Not that one, do the home deliveries later. Use common sense boy, not everyone is up before the crack of dawn. Start with the hotel first, then the school, then the houses. And be quick about it, I have stuff to do myself.’

            When reaching my goal, I had to put the box of groceries on the floor, open the hotel’s door and slide the box through. Only then did someone show up to help.

A skinny red-headed boy came through two open doors leading to an eating room. His smile never left his face.

‘Old Lennie sick then?’ he asked, bending and lifting the box with ease. His hair was even shorter than mine, close to his scalp, and his eyes were a deeper green.

‘Yeah,’ I said, ‘do you work here?’

‘Work here? I run the kitchen here! Name’s Aaron, my dad owns this place.’ He managed to balance the box under one arm and hold out the other.

‘I’m Dimitri,’ I said, shaking his hand.

            ‘Yeah I know, Lennie never shuts up about you.’ He turned, heading back through the doors he’d come from. ‘You coming? Lennie usually helps me when we’re busy.’

            I thought about Mary, waiting for me to come back to finish the deliveries.

            ‘Okay.’

            There were twenty tables in the eating room; their edges were carved with the hotel name ‘The Firo Stop’ using beautifully sloping letters that curled around the corners. The end of the word continued on, forming the shape of a dragon.

            My breath caught at the sight, a strange tugging in my gut making me faint-headed, vision blurring to see a glimpse of red.

            ‘Good, aren’t they?’ Aaron’s voice broke through suddenly behind me. I jumped, turning to face him. ‘Brand new those, you hear the customers admiring them all the time.’

            ‘Who made them?’

            He scratched his cheek with a grimace.

            ‘Just some foreigner. Made them in return for his keep. Apparently he needs the money he earns for other purposes.’ I followed him into the kitchen, shaking off the remaining haze inside my head. ‘Do you cook?’

            ‘Only pasta.’

            ‘Pasta?’ Aaron scoffed, ‘Anyone can make pasta. I’ll show you how to cook proper stuff.’

            The smell of frying bacon so early made me nauseous. Aaron was in charge of the eggs, and mushrooms, while I stared at the sizzling bacon, prodding it every so often. The stove was bigger than ours, but still had a live fire within, heating the top to cook on.

            ‘You have to make sure they don’t get too crispy. Only one customer likes them well done, the rest like it soft.’

            ‘Do you ask them?’

            ‘No, I can just tell.’

            ‘Aren’t you late for school?’ I asked.

            ‘This kitchen is my school,’ Aaron said, puffing out his chest. ‘I don’t need no books telling me about the world, just give me an order and you’ll have a meal within half an hour. I don’t get paid, but I get to keep my tips.’

His comfortable chattiness made me think of Iris.

‘Why don’t you go to school?’

‘I was home-schooled by my father. Working’s more important now.’

Aaron just nodded, grabbing the frying pan and dishing out the bacon. I blinked at the plate, noticing all the other food was ready.

‘Still want to help?’

I nodded, grabbing two plates.

‘Not them, they’re going to the far end, the hangover lot. You take this one.’ He shoved a plate in my left hand, ‘to table three, and this to table two. Don’t mix them up though.’

The eating room was occupied by all twelve guests. There was a group of three, three groups of twos and three people sat alone. Table two and three had only one person each on it, so I easily handed out the food.

‘Who are you?’ Table two asked, a well-built woman who had already taken a chunk out of her bacon before speaking. ‘I haven’t seen you before.’

‘I’m just helping out for the day.’ I smiled. Smiling earned you more tips, Aaron had said.

The woman smiled back and continued with her breakfast.

I wandered back into the kitchen, but Aaron was already there, carrying the last of the plates out.

‘Just stay in there and look attentive. Fill up drinks, that sort of thing.’

Table two asked for a coffee refill five minutes later. Thirty seconds after that she stood up.

‘Better head off to those stalls before the heat melts me.’ She winked, leaving two gane on the table. I gave her my best smile; the one Mum said would break hearts one day, and then had to explain this wasn’t as awful as it sounded.

‘Just like your father.’

My smile dropped; the woman was already gone. I moved to clean her table, pocketing the two gane.

It didn’t take long for tables to clear. Aaron went back into the kitchen to wash the plates.

‘You can head off now, only one table left and that guy likes to take his time. Thanks for the help, come back sometime, okay? Even if it’s just to hang out.’

I grinned, nodding.

Finally, I have a friend.

I walked back through the eating room, noticing the figure hunched over table eight had cleared his plate.

It can’t hurt to grab his plate for Aaron.

‘Excuse me, Sir, have you finished with your plate?’

He looked up, straight into my eyes.

His hair was gone, shaved off with a burn scar on the right side of his scalp. His face was haggard, his breath carrying the stench of ale. His yellow eyes, bloodshot, widened with recognition.

‘Dimitri?’ Father asked, his voice slurred, ‘Son, please-’

            I shook my head, unable to breath. I was trying to run but I was so dizzy I stumbled into chairs; one sent me crashing into the floor. A painful jolt of pins and needles shot up my feet, I cried out in pain, unable to get away. My vision was blurred, but focused in that man’s direction. On whoever he had become now.

            ‘What’s wrong with him?’ Aaron’s voice was distorted in my ears.

            ‘Dimitri, listen! I’m sorry about what I said. I’m sorry I hurt your mother.’

            He was crouched down by my left side. I looked ahead, unseeing. My breathing had begun to calm, my vision clearing.

            ‘You see those tables? I carved them. I’ve always wanted to teach you. For your thirteenth birthday I was going to give you a knife and a block of wood, and every week I would make sure I got at least one hour with you, teaching you. I’ve been thinking a lot, Dimitri. Even if you can’t serve Ignatius directly you could help with my trading work.’

            He grabbed my closest hand, clutching it in both of his. ‘Please, son,’ A sob escaped. ‘Please.’

            I stared in horror, his broken body shaking with sobs. Terror seized me and I bolted to my feet.

            ‘Let go!’

            My father would never cry.

            ‘Don’t touch me!’

            One final tug and a wild kick released me.

---

The cool floor was a familiar comfort, its relentless surface the only constant thing I could rely on. The bed above sheltered me, but its soft covers never soothed my worries at night.

            He’ll grow out of it. Mum had reassured Father. Instead it was the only cure for my panic attacks.

            I breathed in deep, thinking of nothing.

            ‘Dimitri!’

            Mary’s face changed from a scowl to a worried frown before I managed to get back round the stall. My hands mechanically picked up the school’s supplies.

            ‘Dimitri!’

            ‘You look pale yourself, boy. You must have caught Lennie’s illness. Leave that and go on home, I’ll look after things today.’

            I nodded and put the box down, my whole body numb as I walked home.

            ‘Dimitri Leav!’

            No one else was home; Mum at work, nursing someone else’s baby. Annie at school, already smarter than I’ll ever be.

            The only comfort was my space, the one place people asked permission to enter, and where he would never deem fit to come.

            My bedroom door banged open. I jumped, knocking my head against the bed.

            ‘Damnit!’

            ‘No cursing.’ Came Mum’s instant response. I heard her footsteps move closer. ‘I didn’t even realise you were home. What happened?’

            She bent down beside the bed, I turned to face away.

            ‘Nothing.’

            She sighed, and then stood again.

            ‘Okay, you don’t need to tell me.’ I heard her turn back to the door. ‘Oh, that’s right. Your friend Aaron is here.’

            ‘Wha-?’ I knocked my head against the bed again, wincing.

            ‘Hello under there.’ Aaron’s cheerful voice spoke from the doorway. My face felt like it was on fire.

            Oh Arŕ Wel, an older boy knows I hide under the bed!

            ‘You certainly made my day more interesting, Dint!”

            ‘Dint?’ I asked, pushing myself from under the bed. I kept my gaze away from his while he peered down at my burning face.

            ‘Yeah, when you knocked the chairs one hit a table and dinted it. So I decided your name should be Dint.’

            ‘Oh, sorry.’

            ‘Don’t be, gives the table a unique edge.’ Aaron grinned. He met my eyes and the smile fell away, replaced with worry. ‘Are you alright? For a moment I thought you were having a heart attack.’

            I flinched. ‘I’m fine. Is-is that why you came? Please don’t worry about me. I-’ I stopped, taking a deep breath.

            Don’t think about it.

            Aaron’s worry lines deepened, but he didn’t question me.

            ‘Well…I wanted to say sorry about not telling you your dad was there. I just thought it was better you didn’t see him that way. He’s gone downhill a bit.’

            I snorted at that, a hysterical giggle escaping me. Once released, it wouldn’t stop. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe and rolled onto my stomach. My hands went to my face, and came back wet.

            ‘I don’t know what to do.’ I choked out.

            Aaron moved from the bed to sit beside me, waiting for me to calm.

            ‘Do you want my opinion?’

            A weak heave was my answer.

            ‘Your dad did a terrible thing, and that’s not easily forgiven. But I’ve seen him slowly killing himself for six months. He ain’t the best man, but he is a good man. Whether that will make him behave better I don’t know. So I can’t tell you to forgive him, but I can’t bring myself to say not to either.’ He gave a weak laugh and scratched his head. ‘Sorry. I guess I don’t know what to do either.’

            I thought about it, my body recovering from dry sobs. I felt my lips lift, an amused ‘tsk’ escaping.

            ‘Aaron?’

            ‘Yeah?’

            ‘Promise you’ll always be straight with me, no matter what.’

            ‘Sure, I always am.’ He stretched out his arm towards me. I blinked and put my palm out, feeling money drop into it. ‘From your dad.’

            I stared down at the twelve flites, and decided.

---

‘I see.’ Mum said, staring at the twelve flites on the table. ‘He’s really sorry.’

            Her deadpan voice scared me.

            ‘I-I was going to talk to him tomorrow, but if you don’t want me to-’

            She stared out the window and didn’t answer. I looked over at Annie, playing with her evening meal. Her eyes shone with tears.

            No help there.

‘Mum?’

‘I can’t, sweetie,’ she said, still staring outside. ‘You can go if you want, but I can’t face him.’

She turned and disappeared into her room. I groaned, clutching my hair in my hands.

‘Why do I need to do everything?’

‘Dimi?’ Annie’s little voice quivered.

I swallowed my rising anger and smiled at her.

‘Don’t worry; I’m going to fix this, Annie.’ You’ll see.’

Chapter Three

Lennie and Cedron

We had the tables set up before the sun had fully risen the next morning, ready to load with goods.

            ‘Sometimes Cedron brings the delivery straight here, if he’s able. It looks like today we’re going to him.’

            Lennie moved around the tables and headed down the street. I followed automatically, the rising sun bathing the half-ready stalls in its warm glow. By the time people began to emerge the rays would have warmed the sand covered, cobble pavement and stone-built houses.

            ‘Watch out, boy!’

            I dodged a half-turned floating table moving out from a gap between houses. The man holding it glared.

            ‘There’s no time for half-wits to be blocking the path.’

            ‘My apologies,’ Lennie said, suddenly at my shoulder, placing one hand on to steer me away. ‘It’s his first day, and he’s not used to fast-paced living.’

            The man squinted at me, his frown deepened.

            ‘The foreign kid? You should watch yourself old man, don’t get involved in their crazy ways.’

            I bit my lip and opened my mouth, but felt all protest wither in my throat.

            Coward.

            ‘This boy isn’t his father.’ Lennie said, and led me away.

            We manoeuvred to the end of the street, entering the town’s square. It was the only place with breathing room. The well at its centre was an essential medical tool for overheated tourists. The mosaic tiled floor, covering all traces of the sand beneath, depicted a red dragon gazing at the well, nestled against her like an egg. The legendary dragon Firo; the town’s namesake.

            Merchants with carts littered the square’s mosaic floor, already bantering with stall owners.

            ‘These flowers are already wilting! I’m not paying two igane for those.’

            ‘This way, Dimitri.’ Lennie spoke, still directing me by the shoulder. ‘He’s under the archway.’

            The archway marked the town’s entrance, a plain but large arc of wood, leading visitors into the square.

            ‘Father was once asked to carve the archway, to make it special,’ I said. ‘But he refused. He said it was too big a commission, and it would distract him from his real trade with Arŕ Wel.’

            Lennie was silent at first. When he spoke, it was quiet.

            ‘That’s a pity. He’s a skilled man; the arch would have looked magnificent.’

            ‘Better than the performance stage in Fepal?’ Interrupted another voice. I glanced up and froze.

            The man looked the same age as Lennie, but his skin was like Father’s and mine’s darker mocha colour. His eyes were dark brown; his long black hair weaved into tiny braids, which were tied back into one big plait.

            ‘I would imagine so,’ Lennie smiled. ‘Although I’ve never seen it myself.’ Lennie patted my shoulder. ‘Cedron, this is Dimitri Leav the second.’

            The man nodded and bent down until we were eye level.

            ‘It’s rare to meet one of the Anellan people descended from the dragon. An honour, little one.’

            My gaze dropped, uncomfortable.

            ‘You’re also from Aneller?’ I squeaked out.

            ‘Yes, but not one of your people. I hail from the harbour town Keb. My life is to travel where others won’t and trade them what they need.’

            ‘I think it’s a great way to live.’

            ‘Then perhaps you can come with me one day.’

            We both smiled at each other, finally finding comfort in a strange land.

---

‘That’s three gane please. Oh, hi Mum!” I waved, then stopped to take the customer’s money. Mum smiled from behind him.

            ‘Hi, sweetie. I came to check how you’re getting on.’

            ‘We haven’t been open long.’

            ‘Where’s Mr. Lennie go?’

            ‘Deliveries. Cedron’s helping him so he’ll get done faster.’

            ‘Wait, he left you alone already? Let me help, I can count the change for you.’

            ‘Mum, I’m fine,’ I said, looking at her. She stopped moving closer and smiled. It was sad but grateful.

            ‘My little boy.’

            I pretended not to hear and continued working.

            ‘Good morning Mrs. Leav.’ Lennie greeted, ‘Pleasant day so far?’

            Mum smiled politely, staring past him at Cedron in shock.

            ‘You!’

            Cedron stopped and smiled, placing his load of groceries on the bare right side of the stall.

            ‘You’re a…aren’t you?’

            ‘He’s from Keb,’ I said, ‘which is on Aneller.’

            ‘I’m Cedron.’ He tilted his head a little.

            ‘But your eyes.’

            ‘His eyes?’ Lennie asked. Cedron chuckled.

            ‘Anellans from the main city, the temple, are descended from dragons. Their eyes are yellow; with them they can stare directly at the sun, and see through any illusions. My blood doesn’t possess dragon properties.’

            ‘I see,’ Mum said, her face falling into a relaxed smile. ‘I’m sorry I was rude, I’ve never seen another Anellan apart from my husband.’

            ‘See through illusions,’ Lennie whispered, looking at me. ‘I see.’

            I felt my face grow warm, but didn’t look at him.

            ‘Well I better be going or I won’t be back to take your money next week. Look after yourself old man; let your new helper do the heavy lifting.’ He winked and I returned a weak smile. Lennie and Cedron looked the same age to me.

‘Annie?’ I asked that night at home, ‘What do you see Lennie as?’

            ‘What do you mean?’ She asked, snuggling closer to me under my bed.

            ‘What does he look like?’

            I felt her stare in the dark.

            ‘He looks old, about sixty, with long white hair, a beard and thick moustache. His eyes are a kind blue, and he always wears loose robes that have seen better days. Why, what do you see, brother?’

            ‘The same,’ I lied.

            ‘Okay,’ her tone was laced with suspicion. ‘If you ever want to talk, I’m here.’

            I nodded, but didn’t say anything more.       

            Ignore it, I decided. If you don’t cause him trouble, the immortal pretending to be Lennie might leave you alone.

Chapter Two

Outside

Annie squinted against the sun as she stepped outside, dragging me behind her. Already people were out shopping before the day became too hot. Amongst the local’s red hair and brown skin were darker heads, their faces flushed and brows sweaty. Their eyes squinted against the sun, examining souvenir trinkets with foreign curiosity.

            The open, outside space was making me dizzy. I tightened my hold on Annie’s small hand. She squeezed back, her head turning to see me.

            ‘Look Dimi, that lady has brown hair like you!’

            The woman was younger than Mum with no frown lines creasing her forehead. She was bent over slightly, examining a blue necklace on the stall in front of her. One sun tanned arm lifted it up, letting the light catch its centre jewel. She responded with a smile.

            My breath caught in a strange little sigh. I wanted to run home and grab the necklace design under my floorboards to show her. The woman’s gaze turned towards us and her smile grew, her blue eyes sparkling.

            I looked away, blinking tears from my green-yellow eyes; so different from everyone else’s.

            ‘Mum will be this way.’

            I was being dragged again, further down the street, dodging through tourists towards a more locally populated area containing food stalls. The biggest one was the grocery stall, set up at the street end across three tables in a U shape.

            Mum was at the left end corner of the stall, examining a cabbage, when she noticed Annie’s frantic waving.

            ‘What on-,’ she began, her face breaking into a dazzling smile. I was crushed into a hug the moment we reached her. ‘Oh Dimi, you’re outside!’

            My eyes filled with tears again but I forced them back.

            ‘Wow, I’ve never seen you outside before!’

            I struggled out of Mum’s grasp to see Iris standing near us.

            ‘Isn’t it great Mum? Now I can see him more than once a week. He could even come have tea at our house for a change.’

            Iris’ Mum stood behind her, looking down at me with a carefully contained look.

            ‘Looks like you’ve finally seen sense, Lily.’ Marge said.

            Annie and I had often puzzled over why Mum and Marge were childhood friends. They were so different.

            ‘I can’t believe you’re really here! Does this mean we can play outside together, Mrs Leav?’

            ‘Yes,’ Mum said, a sad smile on her face. ‘Dimi can play as much as he wants now.’

            Iris giggled and grabbed my hands, forcing me into a spin. I nearly crashed into Mary, an elderly woman who sometimes visited the house for a ‘chat’ and to give ‘advice’.

            Marge shot her daughter a disapproving glance before turning back to Mum.

            ‘Honestly, did you need that idiot husband of yours to leave before the child could come outside the house?’

            ‘Leave? Where did he go?’ Iris asked, stopping her spin but still holding my hands. She was looking at me, so I shrugged and turning away, pulling my hands back.

            ‘What will you do now?’ Marge whispered.

            ‘Do you mean he left like Daddy?’ Iris asked.

            ‘Yes, darling, he did.’ She didn’t turn away from Mum as she answered.

            Iris nodded once and moved past me to Annie, pulling her into a hug. Even though Annie was four years younger they were in the same school class. She was Iris’ friend more than mine and they could tell when the other was upset. Annie’s little frame was trembling.

            Mum briefly placed a hand on Annie’s shoulder before leaving her to Iris.

            ‘You mentioned before Felicity wanted a new maid to help her out, now she has the new baby. I’m going to visit after the shopping’s done.’

            ‘A maid? Don’t be ridiculous! You can work on the fabric stall with me.’

            ‘I’m a mediocre sewer, you know that. A job is a job; I’ll take anything I can get.’

            They began trailing away towards the meat stalls, while Annie and Iris had vanished when I wasn’t looking. The crowd around the end stall was growing. I flattened myself against the wall just past the stalls left side, chewing on my bottom lip.

            I hadn’t thought about how we’d survive without Father. I had just thought everything would be easier with him gone.

            Even I know about money. We don’t have Father’s anymore.         

            I stared up at the sun, feeling powerful when everyone else could only squint at it.

            I’ll make this right.

            ‘Excuse me?’ I said, turning back to the stall. The man behind the groceries was bent over, back facing the front of the stall as he rummaged through reserves of produce. He turned his head and smiled, straightening back up to face me.

            ‘How can I help?’

            I stared at him, mouth open. His veins were so close to his skin they were visible on his face and arms. His hair was black and long, tied back in a loose ponytail.

            ‘Are you okay?’ He asked, moving towards me.

            I jumped back in surprise, feeling my face grow hot.

            ‘S-sorry, I…do you need any help? I’m looking for a job. I’m not very smart but I’ll work really hard and-’

            ‘Whoa, slow down,’ He laughed, one hand moving to his chin. ‘You must be Dimitri; you’re quite a gossip topic.’

            I didn’t know what to say to that.

            ‘Well, it’s nice to meet you at last. But why do you want a job?’

            I clenched my hands, fighting the urge to run, and looked right into his eyes.

            ‘I have to help my mum. I need to provide for my family. It’s my duty as a man.’

            His lips quirked into an amused smile.

 ‘I see, but why this stall? Why did you ask me?’

            ‘Because,’ I said, looking away, ‘Because you’re different from everyone else here, just like me.’

            His whole body stiffened, panic filling his eyes. The colour on his face faded to white.

            ‘What did you say?’

            His eyes were focused on me. I felt like they would burn me. I shook my head, backing away.

            ‘Wait!’

            I didn’t. I ran blindly, banging into people, stumbling on stone floor, longing for the safety beneath my bed.

The man was in our house a few hours later, drinking a cup of tea and chatting happily with Mum. He smiled when he saw my frozen form in the doorway.

            ‘Hello Dimitri, I apologise for earlier. I was rather rude.’

            I stared at him. He waited, so I gave a cautious nod.

            ‘I came to discuss hours and payment. It would be a huge help if you’re there first thing, that way you can start setting up the stall while I make deliveries. And midday can get busy-’

            ‘I’ll work all day! I’ll help set and close down, anything you want.’

            ‘I see, well, that’s a relief. As for payment, I can’t offer much money, so how about one flite and four ganes a week, half of your groceries from my stall free and any informal medical advice free of charge?’

            Mum gasped.

            ‘But Mr Lennie, that’s-’

            ‘It’s the least I can do. Your son is very brave, and he deserves this much.’ He looked back towards me and winked. ‘He is a man, after all.’

            For the first time I could remember, I gave a full smile.

Chapter One

Fire Caves

A trail of sweat ran down my face, the heat from the flames plastering hair on my forehead. The five mile walk from home had left me panting, legs aching from unfamiliar exertion. My tongue tasted ash in the air. My body craved water so much my legs shook. I wiped my hand across my forehead, hoping Father hadn’t noticed. He had been adamant I wear my finest ivory shirt and brown trousers. Now they were stained with sweat.

            ‘Father, I want to go home.’

            His yellow gaze left the flames and settled on me. I cringed back. My eyes were like his, but Mum’s light green colour softened the outer edges. I couldn’t make a scary face like that.

            ‘You’re twelve now. It’s time you were useful.’ He turned away, stepping into the flames. I gasped, shrinking back and scraping my back against the cave wall. Father’s figure was engulfed, the sound of his footsteps drowned by the cackling fire.

Father had been working at the fire caves for fifteen years, ever since coming to Firo. Their inside structure was a maze paved with fire, the ragged stone walls immune to the element. The floor was coated with dirt as fine as sand; a fuel for the constant inferno. The heat was so near yet never touched my skin, even when I dared move from the wall. The dancing yellow, orange, red and, sometimes, a hint of blue, was so clear I was mesmerised. Our Anellan eyes were ideal here; sharp enough to see through the flame’s light and smoke without any pain. But I was still human. I could burn.

            ‘Father.’ Tears spilt down my shaking face.

            ‘Come on boy! Stop embarrassing yourself!’

A blaze of blue burst out in front of me, forcing the orange and red to part. The blue outline grew broader, pushing the flames back to form a pathway.  Father grabbed my wrist, pulling me down the path. I looked at the ground, seeing the floor change from dirt to burning ember as we emerged into a clearing. I whimpered, the vile smell of singeing rubber rising from my feet. 

            ‘Ignatius is waiting.’ Father pulled me in front. I took a deep, steadying breath before looking up.

            My eyes could see through the thick smoke rising from the floor. A wooden throne sat in front of a fork path, breaking away into more tunnels, where no fires were burning. A man sat there, watching me with no clear expression. Each strand of shoulder-length hair was ablaze, rooted into the skin of his scalp. His brown leather clothes exposed his arm’s tanned skin and muscles.

            ‘So this is the child?’ he sneered. His eyes were edged with yellow, blending to orange, and red-rimmed around the pupils.

            I stumbled backwards, slamming against my father, and fell on the ground. The burning coal met my bare hands. I screamed at the searing pain and the man’s cold stare.

            ‘Dimitri!’ Ignatius’ voice called my name. My entire body began shaking, the smell of burnt cloth reaching my nose. I tried to scramble to my feet, but the feel of my raw hands touching the ground made them collapse, my shoulder hitting the ember floor.  The focused gaze of the immortal crushed all the breath from my body. Sharp, unquenching gasps escaped.

            I’m going to die!

            ‘Yes, Master?’ My father appeared, bowing.

            ‘What is the meaning of this? You dare insult me by offering this coward as a servant!’

            I didn’t hear the rest. I didn’t want to. I gave up trying to control my breathing and let the blackness in my vision take over.

---

‘That boy has failed to please Arŕ Wel. He has cursed this family!’

            Eyes scrunched shut; I pressed my face into the suffocating softness of the mat beneath my bed. I’d wanted to hold my hands against my ears but couldn’t bring myself to lift them from my side once the shouting began. 

            ‘Don’t talk about our child like that! At least now he can leave the house and make friends,’ said Mum. I wondered whether she stood facing him or was looking away.

            ‘Dimi,’ a closer voice whispered, making me jump and whack my head on the bottom of the bed. I groaned, moving my hands to rub my sore head, while turning it to see little Annie crouched beside me.

            ‘It’s okay, Dimi,’ she said. ‘Me and Mum don’t care about you being in that man’s service. Dad will understand someday.’

            Father’s voice cut through from the kitchen.

            ‘He has disgraced the Gods! He’s not worthy of anything anymore.’

            Annie’s hands clenched into little fists. She sprang up, and was out of the room before I had begun moving.

            ‘That’s not true, Daddy!’ I heard as I entered the hallway and raced towards the kitchen. I froze in the doorway, fear catching up with me.

            Annie stood next to Mum, facing Father. She’s only seven and already smarter and braver than me.

            ‘Dimi is an amazing person, and talented! He’s even started designing a really pretty necklace.’

            Not even Annie had managed to calm Father’s expression. His sharp yellow eyes stared at her with so much anger her legs were shaking. Annie didn’t even notice, and I loved her all the more for doing what I couldn’t.

            ‘He is a damned child, no son of mine!’

His gaze darted to me. I felt like I’d been stabbed. My legs didn’t shake, they collapsed without a fight. I couldn’t look away.

‘His whole life has been a waste.’

            ‘How dare you talk to my son like that!’ Mum stepped around Annie and rushed towards me, bending down and pulling me up, letting me hide my face against her, blocking me from his eyes. ‘That cave has changed you, Dimitri. That thing is not your God, he’s a fraud!’

I heard a quick step and a loud crack before Mum fell to her knees, dragging me down with her. Her arm instinctively tightened around me, a surprised sob escaping before she forced it away.

‘Mum!’ Annie cried. I managed to turn my head in Mum’s grasp. Annie was already beside us, crouching down and crying. Her sobs were making her whole body heave. Her soft brown eyes filled with tears.

She looked so scared.

I didn’t feel scared anymore.

‘Leave her alone!’ I burst, standing up. The sudden movement took Mum by surprise. She let go.

Father didn’t even acknowledge me. He was staring at his right hand. My face felt warm with sudden anger. I grabbed a vase off the kitchen table; his precious Anellan artefact designed with ashes and dragons.

‘Get out! Go back to your God!’ I threw it blind. He let out a surprised grunt as he was hit in the stomach. The vase bounced to the floor and smashed, pieces scattering across the floor. Father absently rubbed his stomach as his gaze finally lifted and looked at me.

I didn’t like the look he gave me: confusion, no spark of recognition. I was a stranger.

‘Get out! We don’t need you, I hate you!’ I screamed, fists clenched.

He looked at Mum before nodding once. He didn’t look at me again as he crossed the kitchen, pieces of vase crunching under his steps.

He left the door open, never looking back at the mess behind.

I’ve decided to post the draft of my novel, Firo, up here too. I already know it needs a rewrite. I plan to change the job of Dimitri’s dad to a glass blower rather than a carver, so I need to research it before I start writing it again. Any feedback is welcome, good and bad (as long as it’s trying to be constructive).