Scribbled Thoughts

Flashes of living blue

dance amongst the green,

reminding your world

birth is possible

and creation doesn’t end

with your first attempt,

no matter how heavy

your heart is.

Manage the calm

and let your mind relax,

a fortnight of hectic over

so you can melt

into the next stage

and see what new challenges

to expect.

Resist the urge

to fill the gaps

and fail everytime,

too concerned

with disappointment

to draw people’s eyes

to the empty.

Burying your actions

with years of denial,

playing the victim

but stewing

on real hurt,

confusion

and delusion

that you deserve the sympathy

while the dead

stay dead.

Stinging eyes

longing to close

and forget the world,

the demand,

of responsibility,

especially when

they have been denied

the greatest one of all.

Slip into the night

to try rekindle

an old joy

and feeling of ambition.

But I cannot follow,

stuck in the dawn

where I was at peace

but lonely,

so lonely

as I feel you slipping away.

Retell a favourite

and enjoy the extension,

different years

highlighting different moments

and expanding your view

all the more.

Happy memories of rhythm

you try to snatch back

and recreate,

but life is too different now,

your body a bigger shape

and you only regret trying

instead of preserving

the cherished times.

Your body remembers

what normal is,

and what happened

has faded

into nothing,

with only you

clinging on

to the edge,

preventing it

slipping completely

into the end.

Twenty four hours awake,

brain fueled on sugar

and desperation

to forget sleep

and squeeze in action,

hoping it will

fix everything

and you can rest,

one day.