Scribbled Thoughts

Nauseaus or exhausted,

too hard to tell

and too foolish

to stop hoping,

but dreading

a repeat tragedy

for either result.

Our corner of mayhem

for you to enter

and reset our rage

over and over,

earning what you need

and discarding our blood,

our reasons

for being here

are beyond

your thinking.

Prepare for

continued battle,

adjustments,

then breathe

deeper than you have

in three years

when contract is signed,

security secured,

and let the stress

melt away

from your future.

Feel my confidence

in myself and you.

We can forge a new future.

All the past mistakes

were meant to be

in order to lead us

to this moment.

Two halves merged,

leading different lives

but still coming

to the same conclusion.

Hope will win

in the end.

It must.

Anticipate the truth

and see how your story works,

or if another

will always be better,

while you keep on dreaming

and seeing another.

Up and down,

slash and dodge.

Repeat

until levels are reached,

goals achieved

and confidence is ready

to move forward.

Check for the shift

and try to remember

where you’re supposed to stand,

if you even want to move

or whether refusing

will ruin everything

instead of

pushing you forward.

Share out the tasks

but expect

to see them again

while others feign stress

and you stop caring

about standing up

for yourself.

Begin the dance

of wanted then discarded,

needed then forgotten,

convenient then a burden.

Exit the stage,

if you dare,

or at least

scream a protest

as you continue

to spin and fall.