Scribbled Thoughts

Remember the euphoria

of activity,

gentle jog

clearing the soul

and bringing positivity back

for a future

that could still

be happy.

Double up

to disguise the absence

of help,

the action

now second nature

that,

when it’s not needed,

that’s when

you feel the shock.

Awkward silences

and meaningful glances,

waiting for you

to open up

and confess your pain,

the pain they all know about

but daren’t mention,

and you wish

it would all

be erased.

Relinquish me from loss

as a thousand eyes

watch me fail

over and over,

but stubbornness will win

as I return

over and over

and over.

My heart in an object

will bring it to life

and authenticate my feelings

that still exist

and keep the dead alive,

that keep them with me.

Contact from the past

to remind you of before

and coax you back into

the familiar routine,

reminding you

life will continue

and you will survive this.

Fill your body

with thoughts of obesity,

tricking shame

to combat hunger

and the craving

of comfort.

Syringe grass and hay

and remind your gut

to move and twitch

your face to life.

There’s ears to clean,

indignation to stomp at,

so remember to eat

and look adorable.

The white snow of spring

flutters in the air

for youthful hands to grasp at,

wondering why it’s not cold.

Settle on the grass

and heal the heart

of those finally venturing out,

hoping to start again.

You were real,

the proof left my body

and I cradled your home,

knowing you’d already left it

but still needing

to say goodbye.

You really were real.