Scribbled Thoughts

I am no longer…

reset the clock

and realise I am alone,

no one is asking me

to nurture them

anymore.

Wishlist of a new life

mock the shadow left behind,

delete

or save for later,

it still hurts too much

to click either.

Fail at basic nature,

or did it reject your hope,

knowing doubts of deserving

weigh on the wanting

and removing the chance

to leave nothing

in a space you can’t fill.

End of the unknown

left with the empty,

the throbbing pain

of a space unoccupied

with nothing to fill it

and no answer

to why

it’s gone.

Thank you for being here,

even if for a while,

I never got to meet you

but I knew you,

I will always know you.

Relief that the waiting is over,

even though the news

could only be the worse,

it is known now,

you can grieve

and say goodbye.

Beautiful possibility

that can never be,

cradle you in soft tribute

with a final hug of goodbye

and an acknowledgement

some ideas

are too precious

to fully form.

Tired mind

explores the world

of mist,

still seeing the beauty

and letting thoughts

quieten

as they ignore all maps

and keep walking.

The original stain

a faint mark

but still visible

to remind you

of the beginning

of the end

and the limbo

you’re still

currently trapped in.

Count the tasks

and calculate

the space within

three days

you must fit them in,

bending and twisting

until they click,

but scream out in agony

at the misshapen

creation left over.