Scribbled Thoughts

Bleed out a potential,

a strand of destiny

never followed,

never known,

never lived.

Surrounded by familiar comfort

to celebrate

other people’s joy

and mean it,

you’ve always meant it,

even when yours

feels far away.

Life shouldn’t be

resentment.

Rush but be better,

work through exhaustion

to bring others satisfaction

while you pop painkillers

and energy drinks,

hoping to survive

the next three days.

River of denial

once again.

All the positives

you conjured

try to stand tall.

Even wobbling

and tilted

it is progress.

One week more

to try recapture

that feeling of joy

and excitement

you can sense

trying to seep

to the surface.

Are you ready?

Demons in my dreams,

breathe your influence away

or burn it all down.

Choice of regret

sits heavy

and stirs sickness

in body and spirit,

all because the memory

was a lie

of wanting.

A day to face

what you’ve been dreading,

hoping for a good result

so you can see

what happens next.

Either way

life will become

a little more clear.

Confess a hurt

to an important person

and feel lighter,

ready to face grief

fow what it is

and not a hidden secret.

I lost you

before I met you,

but you still existed.

Familiar songs of delight

try to stir

a phantom happiness,

an unknown smile

settles.

You begin to believe

everything

might be okay.