Scribbled Thoughts

They lost you;

phrased like it was

deliberate

instead of

everything they dreaded

and still ache for

months later.

Just try again,

it’s that easy

to forget,

right?

Feel the frustration

seep into the silence,

expanding the uneasiness

and trying to infect

the atmosphere.

Ignore and speak brighter,

ready for a vented rant

that will clear the air

and restore calm

for a little longer.

Rearrange my space

to recall

your individuality,

experience old interests

and breathe

a happy peace

that you matter.

Take a moment.

Remember.

Ask me

to wear a mask

and pretend I am

different,

are you ashamed?

Does your fear

turn to hate

as I fling away

the lies

and refuse

to be anything

other than

what I am?

Do you even remember

what it is

to hope?

A message

to disprove a dream,

one you gave up

long ago,

yet its end

still hurts,

more than you will

ever admit.

Return to nausea,

a symptom of reluctance

to leave peace behind,

yet the mind

begins to hope

for something more,

a dangerous thought

to stop a pounding head

hurting.

Hide my journey

to confirm my health,

but expect displeasure

when we return

to a shorter day.

Move into confusion

as thoughts fade

into empty pain,

a dizzy chaos

to replace your certainty

and leave sick moments

to move forward with.

Set the fire

but watch the sparks

die

again and again

no matter how

you try to coax them.

Perhaps you should have

given up long ago,

before the rain began.

Flip the dirt

onto the substanance,

hiding your generosity

to fuel my indignation,

my right to sulk

and demand attention

from the only one

who matters.