Scribbled Thoughts

Anticipate and disappoint,

a cycle hard to break.

Should you fake happiness

or be honest?

Which one would hurt less?

Which one would be

the easier way out?

Vital ingredient forgotten

and one moment to decide

for a reroute

or a quick turn,

hoping enough fuel

remains for either.

Aftermath of euphoria

drafts a dull sheet

over everyday tasks,

expectations of the extraordinary

trickling disappointment

into small acts of kindness,

no matter how much they cost

another.

A year of anticipation

bubbles forward

into expectation and joy,

a day of freedom

to be normal

and enjoy the core

of the real you.

Prayers of the everlasting hopefuls,

convinced efforts are rewarded

and failing over and over again

until history can be rewritten.

Pounding vocals

throb against words,

silencing thoughts

and sinking shadows

deeper into darkness

until nothing remembers

what breathing was like.

Expend energy

before it recharges,

hoping tiredness

will chase away anxiety

and let the rest

of your world sleep

in peace.

Calculating a failure,

an admittance of defeat,

ready to end that chapter

and rekindle an old plan,

hoping that will be successful

a second time around.

Surely.

Shut down the progress

to scream a need

for rest,

for respect,

for a moment to feel

normal

and not just a tool

for everyone’s own safety.

Race your worth

and bash those

that threaten to better,

proving nothing but pain

and throwing everything

into ruin.