Scribbled Thoughts

Wrap up the year

of almosts

and lost chances

and enter a year

of distractions

where this time

you may succeed

at something,

even if it’s not

what your heart

yearns for most.

Grip my temple

and mock

my determination

to accomplish

what I must.

Why am I here,

at your request,

if you don’t want

to complete

and move onto

what comes next?

Next stage

waiting,

hovering

around the corner

while you’re still

saying goodbye

to today.

Move sideways

for a week

and life

will start to

make sense

again.

Plan the distractions

one after another

so thinking

isn’t an option,

noticing others

is an afterthought

and reality

of a different future

stays away

for a little longer.

Prepare a spare

for the days

inspiration is gone,

even as a rant,

or when the emotions

are too raw

to spill with ink.

It will be there

to fill the gap

of trying.

I’d give up

all the superficial plans

in a heartbeat

to hear yours,

have it exist,

be allowed to love you.

A gift waiting

underneath a tree,

lying uncomfortable

for romance

but unable to rise

because the hard cold floor

has ruined their back.

Wet my mask

from the inside

with salt

and loneliness

and plans of actions

that you can only

bear thinking of

alone.

Bleed out a potential,

a strand of destiny

never followed,

never known,

never lived.