Scribbled Thoughts

Feel the rhythm break

and all security fade,

a safety net you were never aware of

gone for good

with only emptiness left,

nothing will come

to fill it,

good or bad.

Devote my life

to a passion not mine

and feel them

drain more and more away.

No more.

Watch them flinch

while I reveal

hidden depths,

scaring all around,

even myself,

but finally feeling

like my true self

is ready to

say hello,

to take on

the world.

One moment

to change their lives,

upheaving everything

and beginning a new challenge,

feeling unique pain

never imagined

but enduring

and hoping

something amazing

may be waiting

at the end.

Test a wish

and see if it fits,

if you dare dream that big

or if settling for the realistic

is the happier route for you.

Ignore the obvious problem

until another arrives

to shoulder it,

side-eyed glances

to see if they’ve noticed

and feign ignorance

when asked,

week after week.

Will the guilt ever win out?

Or will this dance continue

until the inevitable

explosion.

Our world is frozen

while others are ablaze,

evacuating all normalcy

and disrupting

a far away comfort,

making us realise

they really exist

and are not just

a source of entertainment,

waiting for when

we want to

acknowledge them.

Pressure present,

unrelenting

as the day stretches ahead,

a monotone rhythm

settling as your life

refuses to change

and you’re too tired

to force it.

Disguise your nature

to flip a moment,

pretending to belong

but basking

in your differences

and accepting

this is better

than changing.

Dulled hope

that refuses to leave,

muscle memory playing

while your mind sits in defeat,

but that little spark

still exists,

so small it stutters in confusion

when your wish is fulfilled,

celebration delayed

until you can accept

it really has happened.

Enticement of extra work

to refill depleted accounts,

but calculate the energy needed

and whether regret

will outweigh

the little relief

it will bring.