Scribbled Thoughts

Dream from behind glass

of a world full of open,

no barriers to protect or restrict,

no one to decide for you

and no one to blame

if you fail.

Begin the excuse

before the action even exists,

covering all angles

of why moving is impossible,

why trying is beyond you,

why someone else

will just have to do it

even if time and energy is lacking,

they’ll do what you won’t.

Innocently unaware

of the trial filled with pain

waiting for you today,

testing a young soul

with its first incentive

to be brave

so that the happy life

you have known

will continue

and this memory

won’t darken your future.

False memories

make up your new image,

one you cling onto

to prevent

falling

into the abyss

of despair.

Recreate the person

through stored memories,

constructing them from others

and fooling yourself

it’s really them,

so you don’t have to face

the emptiness of loss

and the certainty

of end.

Assemble an appealing day

and watch a flock emerge

to admire your work,

eager to soak up another’s efforts

and benefit without the exertion.

Is the satisfaction

really the same?

Gaze upon the discarded

and wonder why it’s in sight,

why no one has whisked it away

to be forgotten

instead of becoming

your problem.

Resist for reward

but temptation is

too enticing,

breaking your resistance

for the brief moment

of pleasure

and a longer length

of punishment.

Was it worth it?

Fingers remember sound

and phantom play

their way to comfort,

a moment of absolute

as everything

begins to tilt.

The moment of bated silence

before stillness settles,

so routine no excuses are given,

yet the crushing end

still sucks all hope away

and there’s nothing to defend

against searching eyes

that refuse to look away

and let you keep pretending.