Scribbled Thoughts

Confusing limbo,

second guessing all the signs

and intuition,

praying for a different outcome

but trying not to hope

so if life is still just normal

you don’t forget

to appreciate all you have,

which is still more than some.

Deep breath,

smile and carry on.

A drop or two

to disappoint

then a confusing nothing,

unsure what to expect,

wondering what you should

be hoping for

and second guessing

all the signs

as you wait for

more drops to follow.

Dance to a movement

unknown, to an audience

of nothing,

not knowing one stands silent,

smiling and watching

and gaining courage

to carry on their story.

Stack by five

for a tower of delight,

packed into enticement

for eager fingers to clutch

so they can escape

for a moment of indulgence.

Exit from life

but linger

to avoid the unknown,

creating a personal purgatory

of endless misery,

the emotion is familiar

at least

and preferable

to the horrifying end

that awaits.

Trapped in a room

where you ended everything,

hoping for the final freedom.

But now you’re eternally stuck,

unable to forget,

unable to leave,

unable to change anything

anymore.

Distant spy

watching your unknowing

innocence enjoy dreamland,

alone in the house

but unaware,

the threat of panic

unable to descend

as you slumber on

in ignorance.

Comfort viewed through

a critical eye,

the mess of the happy

no longer good enough

when others may witness it.

Scrub to pretend

you’re someone you’re not,

all to avoid whispers

and the dread

of being judged.

Shadowed visits

to quell the resentment,

yet it’s too dark

to explain the hurt

hidden in the moment.

Will it be dismissed now,

left to dwell

within your heart

until sorrow weighs

too heavy and limbs

cannot be forced to move.

Convenient coatstand

to throw all your concerns on

without looking,

how long will it take

you to notice

it’s no longer there?

All your problems

are now a growing pile

on the floor.