Scribbled Thoughts

Muster up

your seasonal joy

but stare into a void

of empty reserves,

still too raw with loss

to pretend

the absence isn’t always

standing at your back

and breathing

on your neck.

Excitement

getting closer,

but the lack

of anticipation

doesn’t even

alarm you.

You’re just

too tired

to try.

Peace at last

within your deepest fear,

time has changed you

and there’s no going back

to carefree moments

where anything was possible

and you had the optimisn

to believe

in miracles.

A world of darkness

sets a perimeter

of safety,

able to smile

within its walls,

but still you

wander to its edge

time and time

again.

My worth has been written

but no one took the time

to read it,

now they make assumptions

of their own

and I am too hurt

to shove the pages of my story

for them to finally see.

Hear a whisper

in the darkness

and follow

with a reckless longing,

desperate to understand

how to live now

with no sight

and no solid comfort

sheltering your side.

Glimpse

a person’s journey

ahead of yours,

having shared

the same pain.

Now they have found

their happy start,

and the hope for yours

has rekindled.

Jealous of a dog

who can refuse

and pout

and misbehave,

but still be forgiven

and treated

with pampered privilege

and loved unconditionally

by all.

Hope to be surprised

and pressure eased,

burden shared,

but knowing

that’s not likely

and the excuses

keep them stationary

while you

run into exhaustion.

Choke on your smile

of lies,

hiding pain

that keeps bubbling

and breaking through cracks.

Should you give in

and see if the world

comforts you?

See if anyone cares?