Scribbled Thoughts

Acute attention

to every sensation,

trying to predict

and manage expectation

but failing when

hope begins to bubble,

waiting for the inevitable

pop.

Pace the paving stones

and trace their imprint,

witnessing the years

of absolute presence,

unmoving

as they are pounded on,

rained on

yet overlooked

despite the foundation

they have given us all.

Trust in your goal

and lean on those nearby,

whether they believe

you’re ready or not

they have come

to help your journey,

so keep moving

and learn of what

comes next.

Snuggle closer

and feel resistance melt away

as the warmth of her tiny body

seeps into your heart,

postponing bedtime

to enjoy the quiet

and private moment

of truth and love.

Walk into silence,

so sudden and obvious,

and wonder why you bothered

trying to be civil

when the world

always rewards you

with doubt

and disappointment.

Inspect the non-urgent tasks

to avoid helping where needed,

a level of petty

beyond sense

that you just

shake your head

and carry on,

no longer caring

how they perceive you.

You know you’re

worth more.

Distract with delights

so fear disappears

until it’s so close

you can’t escape

and you have a choice

of fighting

or running

and growing more afraid.

Change is loud,

so duck your head

without hope,

unsure if you want

their attention

or to just disappear

back into the shadows

where you are safe

but lonely.

Paint with foil,

the reflection revealing

something beneath

long hidden

and long forgotten.

Time to surface now,

time to remember

the possibility

of colour.