Scribbled Thoughts

Prep the fun

between the jobs

and watch the innocent

frollick,

remember how that used

to feel.

Experience childhood again.

Punish those who seek

out respite

with more action and stress,

laugh at their panic

before they disappear,

then later ponder

why you never

see them again.

At least you had your fun.

Approach and offer

to ease anxiety

but deplete earnings,

the decision of what

is needed more

doesn’t take long

to be concluded.

Continue the story

of years ago,

one thought forgotten

but now revealing

a renewed life,

ready to share

its secrets.

Retreat higher up

and curl into digression,

hoping for a moment

to forget the turmoil

and pretend

simpler times and emotions

are your only concern.

Confusing limbo,

second guessing all the signs

and intuition,

praying for a different outcome

but trying not to hope

so if life is still just normal

you don’t forget

to appreciate all you have,

which is still more than some.

Deep breath,

smile and carry on.

A drop or two

to disappoint

then a confusing nothing,

unsure what to expect,

wondering what you should

be hoping for

and second guessing

all the signs

as you wait for

more drops to follow.

Dance to a movement

unknown, to an audience

of nothing,

not knowing one stands silent,

smiling and watching

and gaining courage

to carry on their story.

Stack by five

for a tower of delight,

packed into enticement

for eager fingers to clutch

so they can escape

for a moment of indulgence.

Exit from life

but linger

to avoid the unknown,

creating a personal purgatory

of endless misery,

the emotion is familiar

at least

and preferable

to the horrifying end

that awaits.