Scribbled Thoughts

Tremors of sound

signal a promise of protection,

form a sphere

to envelop your soul

and bounce off vibrations

to strengthen  your resolve.

I am here, always,

to begin the song.

Confirm a schedule

but change it on a whim,

expecting others to comply

without complaint

and continue smiling,

bending even if

their back is broken.

Gentle trot to my run,

taking in the sights

and appreciating the breeze,

while I struggle to breathe

and gulp down water

to keep going.

Suffocating presence

of the past

has finally been cleansed,

the memories no longer hurt

and you notice the kindness

hidden in them,

longing to reach out

and embrace it,

thank it

and let them know

you’re okay now.

Change your name

to escape their shadow,

but still the light is blocked

with dark thoughts

where they won’t leave

and you can’t ignore them.

Refuse my defences

and watch the consequences

of cut flesh,

flowing blood

and the end of trust

and security.

Screech for attention

so all work stops,

heads turn

to acknowledge your demand

while those near sigh

with weary acceptance,

ready to ruin a rhythm

and change to

your direction.

Glance over your distress,

pretend not to see

so their own will stay moderate,

they can worry about

the guilt later

when they’re far away

and no longer

forced to care.

Robbed of rest

but time still moves

and your day starts

while others dream

and you envy them

their selfishness,

longing to join them.

Rewrite my history

onto a path to your liking

and watch my mind

crumble under the pressure

until I’m your

perfect puppet.