Scribbled Thoughts

Sort through tired thoughts

to understand the pressing

melancholy weighing

your movements,

slowing your progress,

preventing you from

reaching your goals.

Gather the familiar

to bask in the knowing

of who you are,

where you came from

and the direction

you are going.

Validate the real you.

Pocket a prayer

and savour its presence

until you’re desperate enough

to pull it out,

hoping it will make

a difference,

hoping it is

not unanswered.

Settle into your pattern

and focus on the planned

discretions, the moments

that will lift the average

and make a good life

even better.

Muscle memory of two months ago,

recall the moves,

the combos, the emotions,

remember the motivation

and melt into the scene

as if you never left.

Sometimes starting again

is not an option.

Remember and jump in.

Reconnect with all my heart

respond and let me feel wanted,

show the time we spent together

was worth something,

was important enough

to type out a reply

instead of letting me sit

in an inbox of limbo.

Return to the fold

and feel the pressure

as expanse closes in,

ready to drown you

in darkness,

even when the choice

to leave is there.

It’s not a choice

many can afford

to take.

Was it ever mine to keep,

the reassurance you gave

and the comfort I gained.

I’ll snuggle it closer,

secret and safe

always there

for when courage leaves me

and I need to fill the hole

with movement

and purpose.

Remind me who I am.

A story frozen in time

for seven years,

waiting to be remembered

and revived.

Are the emotions

as strong as when

they first began?

Or is it just

a performance now,

waiting to be cleared.