Scribbled Thoughts

Triple in preparation

just in case the answer

is yes,

and if it’s no

you’ll be stuck

with nothing to

keep you busy.

Only worry,

and imagining,

and slowly envisioning

all the deadly outcomes

possible

during five long hours.

Return home in a

scattering tube,

so much smaller

when I cradle you,

still not ready

to let go.

Hectic planning

for the perfect solution,

but not everyone

can be happy

and will have to settle

for grim acceptance

as the demands of others

forces our course.

Phantom sensations

confuse your state of mind,

no longer knowing

whether to be resigned

or hopeful.

Is this a build-up,

or a muscle memory

of expectation

now a new course

has been chosen.

Wait in limbo

a little longer

to find out.

Relive the ending

to notice any hints

of a happy outcome.

Spot the magic,

appreciate the heartache

and carry on with life,

cradling the knowledge

in your heart.

Stubborn insistence

to squeeze in spaces,

just to be a little closer

and be heard a little louder.

No one can resist

that innocence,

and will sacrifice

sleep to comply.

Her nickname halfway

from your mouth

stops when addressing another.

It fits, but it can’t,

too early to replace, reslot,

yet it works

and you desperately

search for another

hoping your hesitation

doesn’t feel like rejection.

It was fast

but not unwanted.

Please understand.

New innocence abducted

from their simple world

and introduced to another,

soft whines of distress

are soothed by new shadows,

ones you’ll grow to love

as your first memories fade.

Welcome to your new name,

I hope you can adapt.

Predict the rain

but venture out lacking,

foolish in optimism

it won’t really come.

Walk in wet clothes

and splash cool water,

refreshing your body

with the world outside

after time spent

isolated and enclosed.

Relearn to breathe,

remember to move forward.