Scribbled Thoughts

Hidden  pain

finally revealed

through all the changes,

goodbyes and hellos,

priorities shifting

to a world you don’t know.

Fight your bodies will

to shut down

and stay with us

always.

Turn off permissions

so your location is a secret

and the world cannot find you,

or so you hope.

Maybe you can find

what you yourself lost,

yourself.

Simpler presence,

warm and near,

demanding you reform

for their needs,

but they will love you

with everything they have

with more than you’ll

ever deserve.

Day of quiet respite

to relax with a watching eye,

never fully at ease

but able to sit

and waste hours

achieving little satisfactions.

Hopefully it will mean something

one day.

Move your existence

out of sight,

don’t trouble others

by making them go around.

Hide and pretend

you never were

until it becomes true,

then watch and see

what little difference

you actually made.

Stamp your concern

to earn your good deed

while missing the crucial

moment when those before you

crumble with defeat,

realising you’ll never hear them

and they can

never stop.

Trap in safety,

suffocating but necessary,

counting the days of growth,

ready to explore and run,

see where you end up,

decide whether you’ll

ever stop.

Mix and mold,

rise and bake,

separate and pack,

open and consume.

Repeat

and feel the satisfaction

of enjoying your day.

Send out but unable to receive,

messages missed

as though no one cares

when really they are there,

loving, waiting,

but you cannot hear them.