Scribbled Thoughts

Jump into darkness

then retreat

and calculate

a new way

to understand,

will it work?

The empty space

did not respawn

a final moment,

and so you

stand alone,

the choice

to begin again

or stagger on

with the path

dark and gone.

Fall into the hole

I have trapped myself

and awaken

my instinct

to protect

what I’ve already lost,

but what else

do I have left?

Count the months

of change

and describe

a hope

of solutions

that will make

it all worth it

and give

the biggest change

of all.

Weasel in some guilt

to sway the outcome

and take advantage

of the luxuries

now at your disposal,

just like in childhood

their emotions

are not a factor.

Dread a day of learning,

teaching with no time

and expecting

feedback of disappointment.

A sigh of relief

at the absence

even as you

struggle alone.

Paint your eyes

over to see

only the happiness,

the life you fought for,

and not the one

you’re inflicting

on the unwilling,

the one that will

be your end.

Drown the world

with cold

and breathe for me

as I beg for release.

No end will come.

Do you hate me

that much?

Convert my life

for your benefit,

an acceptable sacrifice

that won’t spark

your conscience,

because how could you

ever be wrong

or evil?