Scribbled Thoughts

Childhood influence

to form a loved gem,

expanding to others

and sharing your secret

so maybe

memories will become relevant

and everyone

will understand

the wonder

and awe.

Little treat

waiting to reward

the rushed,

but guilt makes

them choke

and regret

the indulgence

they should have saved

for when all their tasks

were done.

Broken to sharpen edges

and cutting into

the soft inside

no one can witness

but still the pain is there,

growing with each

movement.

Remember the euphoria

of activity,

gentle jog

clearing the soul

and bringing positivity back

for a future

that could still

be happy.

Double up

to disguise the absence

of help,

the action

now second nature

that,

when it’s not needed,

that’s when

you feel the shock.

Awkward silences

and meaningful glances,

waiting for you

to open up

and confess your pain,

the pain they all know about

but daren’t mention,

and you wish

it would all

be erased.

Relinquish me from loss

as a thousand eyes

watch me fail

over and over,

but stubbornness will win

as I return

over and over

and over.

My heart in an object

will bring it to life

and authenticate my feelings

that still exist

and keep the dead alive,

that keep them with me.

Contact from the past

to remind you of before

and coax you back into

the familiar routine,

reminding you

life will continue

and you will survive this.

Fill your body

with thoughts of obesity,

tricking shame

to combat hunger

and the craving

of comfort.