Scribbled Thoughts

Syringe grass and hay

and remind your gut

to move and twitch

your face to life.

There’s ears to clean,

indignation to stomp at,

so remember to eat

and look adorable.

The white snow of spring

flutters in the air

for youthful hands to grasp at,

wondering why it’s not cold.

Settle on the grass

and heal the heart

of those finally venturing out,

hoping to start again.

You were real,

the proof left my body

and I cradled your home,

knowing you’d already left it

but still needing

to say goodbye.

You really were real.

I am no longer…

reset the clock

and realise I am alone,

no one is asking me

to nurture them

anymore.

Wishlist of a new life

mock the shadow left behind,

delete

or save for later,

it still hurts too much

to click either.

Fail at basic nature,

or did it reject your hope,

knowing doubts of deserving

weigh on the wanting

and removing the chance

to leave nothing

in a space you can’t fill.

End of the unknown

left with the empty,

the throbbing pain

of a space unoccupied

with nothing to fill it

and no answer

to why

it’s gone.

Thank you for being here,

even if for a while,

I never got to meet you

but I knew you,

I will always know you.

Relief that the waiting is over,

even though the news

could only be the worse,

it is known now,

you can grieve

and say goodbye.

Beautiful possibility

that can never be,

cradle you in soft tribute

with a final hug of goodbye

and an acknowledgement

some ideas

are too precious

to fully form.