Scribbled Thoughts

Distract from the weight,

talk nonsense until I listen

and question you more than me.

Snap me back into time

so I can breathe

and sigh

and hug you for saving

the little control

I have left.

Face the shadows of amnesia

that linger to be touched

but you whisk away with a swipe,

too settled to test,

too worried to reveal

in case it changes who you were

and creates who you are.

It settles heavy,

unrelenting in its presence

and refusing to be ignored.

The urge to expel, purge,

empty yourself grows,

but what will be left

and how long will you survive

rejecting what you need?

Break the silence

and sulking,

expect a happy response…

but only tired indignation is left,

the resentment lasted too long

to be simply

swept away.

Stiffen your posture

to avoid a bent outlook,

not knowing you’re already

hunched for the rest

of the world to view.

Stand up higher

to ease pressure,

avoid notice

and wince in the dark

while stretching,

hoping to click

but hoping to be invincible.

Yearn to return

to home and hugs,

soft moments spent together

that others would overlook

but which sew up your world

and drive you back,

preferring those mundane moments

to any lively event.

Set up the image

to spy when eyes are closed,

praying they’re not needed,

but prepared

for any situation

that might threaten

those dear.

Calm you with sugar

and distract change

with action

until the unusual

is now normal

and you forget

to miss the old.

Swell up from action,

hindering movement with pain

even though your presence

has grown.

Bigger and in the way,

everyone will stare,

no one will ask

the reason you cry.