Scribbled Thoughts

Strip the insides

of memories,

some which still hurt

to throw away,

some you can’t remember

why they were important.

Strip and strip

until there is nothing left,

and then begin again.

Playback the awkward

and speed up the skill.

Cut together the progress

and upload for judgement.

Submit and wait

for approval.

Measure my worth

through physical attributes,

whether they are used

or not

and decide to pursue

a dream of what could be,

not noticing the reality

that already presents itself.

Fire warmth draining

from your veins,

leaving ice and confusion,

the shock so complete

you can’t remember

who you are

or how to return heat

into your soul.

Dotted path to follow,

the faint hints shadows

in your mind.

Are they even real?

Do you want them to be?

Dizzy whirl of constant tasks

to complete

and perfect

before you can grab

some cold air

to try remember

what normal feels like.

Perhaps this is

normal now.

Anxious thoughts

play out scenarios

that will never come to pass,

but still a headache forms

at the thought of them,

leaving you irritated

and unable to relax,

unable to smile,

unable to breathe.

Record my progress

with a time limit,

to show your skills

of repetition,

rehearsal

and hope this will convert

into actual skill.

Seaweed shark

slinks across the sand,

hunting out the ripples

to test out courage

and cunning,

dancing away in victory

with a dried prize

that salts teeth

and lifts confidence.

Fall asleep to the lullaby

of mighty water

settling into your memories.

Realisation of your status

at the loud name badge

stating importance

and ending ignorance,

settling life into understanding,

relief more powerful

than the slight embarrassment

that it took this long

of me to notice.

Thank you for your patience.