Scribbled Thoughts

Click on to spy,

your oblivious innocence

never realising

I can see you sleeping.

A sigh of relief

that you are content alone

as I return

to earning your keep.

Unexpected reprieve

at the beginning

to ease your tired soul

back into the grind

after too short

a time away.

Blend and blur

reality until

days are jumbled

and no escape

is in sight.

Life used to be

a line,

not a circle.

Energy levels low,

drained with

too much youth

until a day of dozing

and snuggles

is the only way

to restore your

sense of self.

Maybe.

Wipe me a confusion

with slight denial

and stubborn hope.

Wait and pray

all is still

and that sleep doesn’t

release red

and signal the death

of another chance.

Triple in preparation

just in case the answer

is yes,

and if it’s no

you’ll be stuck

with nothing to

keep you busy.

Only worry,

and imagining,

and slowly envisioning

all the deadly outcomes

possible

during five long hours.

Return home in a

scattering tube,

so much smaller

when I cradle you,

still not ready

to let go.

Hectic planning

for the perfect solution,

but not everyone

can be happy

and will have to settle

for grim acceptance

as the demands of others

forces our course.

Phantom sensations

confuse your state of mind,

no longer knowing

whether to be resigned

or hopeful.

Is this a build-up,

or a muscle memory

of expectation

now a new course

has been chosen.

Wait in limbo

a little longer

to find out.

Relive the ending

to notice any hints

of a happy outcome.

Spot the magic,

appreciate the heartache

and carry on with life,

cradling the knowledge

in your heart.