Scribbled Thoughts

Feel the degradation

of your mind,

reality blurring into fantastic

until nothing makes sense

and you talk to ghosts

who are more solid

than your memories.

Follow a purpose

to cling onto something,

anything,

and pray the rot

will spare you that much.

Stuck in the loop

between death and after,

watch the smile

and experience the end.

Manipulate structure

to create something old,

an imitation that fails

to even move alone.

Pour into it too much

until it breaks,

then watch it try to

reconstruct a normal form,

one it’s not ashamed of.

Drain my life

by clinging tighter,

eyes watchful,

never wavering,

until we both

fall asleep

forever.

A voice that coaxes your actions,

guiding your path,

forming your personality,

taking control of your being

until you can’t remember

who you are,

what you’re doing,

or why it ever mattered.

Rewrite the memories

to avoid an imprint

that will destroy everything.

Struggle to hang on

to a sanity

long stripped away,

while the fast-pace

of events refuse to pause

and you are

swept along

to disaster.

Strip the insides

of memories,

some which still hurt

to throw away,

some you can’t remember

why they were important.

Strip and strip

until there is nothing left,

and then begin again.

Playback the awkward

and speed up the skill.

Cut together the progress

and upload for judgement.

Submit and wait

for approval.

Measure my worth

through physical attributes,

whether they are used

or not

and decide to pursue

a dream of what could be,

not noticing the reality

that already presents itself.