Scribbled Thoughts

Forget me

until I spur your interest

in unexpected remembrance

that I can surprise,

amaze,

make you feel something

you never thought possible,

no matter how much

you deny me.

Cuddle her closer

while I watch outside

the bubble of warmth,

praying you remember

I exist for more

than a side glance.

Cross and spray,

coating yourself in

a protective layer of sweat

while the grease

sits and waits,

hoping to seep in

and bury itself beneath,

to corrupt and

expose all your flaws.

Wait on my whim,

organise everything

in-between

and hope it all works out,

that your day

still means something,

and you remember

you are alive.

Walk in to chaos,

familiar but still unwanted,

less time to squeeze more in,

until everything bursts

and is impossible

to put back together,

or recognise what it

once was.

Something for me,

only me,

that I will fight for,

be selfish for,

kill for.

This is what you wanted,

right?

So why aren’t you here,

to witness the pain

it has brought.

Waiting and circling,

praying for the opening

to praise and leave

so the day can end

and everyone can recharge.

Introduce you to fresh air

and the wonders of pavement,

splatter yourself in rain

and realise how small you are

in this big scary world.

But don’t worry,

we’re here to keep you safe.

Increase my living

so I’ll waste more

in the same place,

working to afford enjoyment

while running out of time

to use it.

Welcome to the circle,

you can’t get off.

Made me, carried me,

expelled me when I was ready,

nurtured me, loved me,

raised me to be a person,

to make my choices,

to know what’s right.

You watched me grow,

let me go

to be my own adult,

and it’s in this time

I realise

how much you sacrificed

and how much I love you,

always.

Happy Mother’s Day.