Scribbled Thoughts

Stubborn insistence

to squeeze in spaces,

just to be a little closer

and be heard a little louder.

No one can resist

that innocence,

and will sacrifice

sleep to comply.

Her nickname halfway

from your mouth

stops when addressing another.

It fits, but it can’t,

too early to replace, reslot,

yet it works

and you desperately

search for another

hoping your hesitation

doesn’t feel like rejection.

It was fast

but not unwanted.

Please understand.

New innocence abducted

from their simple world

and introduced to another,

soft whines of distress

are soothed by new shadows,

ones you’ll grow to love

as your first memories fade.

Welcome to your new name,

I hope you can adapt.

Predict the rain

but venture out lacking,

foolish in optimism

it won’t really come.

Walk in wet clothes

and splash cool water,

refreshing your body

with the world outside

after time spent

isolated and enclosed.

Relearn to breathe,

remember to move forward.

Innocence meets grieving,

gentle licks

flicker the heart

who resists due to pain.

One day to prepare

before open affection enters,

brave your reserves

to love another

while still remembering.

Plans to welcome another

while your heart still grieves,

excitement laced with ache

that you hope will not infect

a new beginning,

but also praying the future

won’t push out

the love of one gone.

Wandering into fresh air

to remember a world

beyond the last seven days,

still turning,

still hurting

but waiting for you to return,

to coax you back

into movement.

Build a chain of memories,

every link holding a trinket of love.

Join each to form your family

who went on ahead,

ready to greet you

the day you join them.

Until then wear their representation

and pray they are happy,

pray you will meet again.

Someday.

Try to think away memories

to function without weeping,

but take moments

to remember

her warmth

and the comfort you provided

at the end.

Her pain is gone.

As your heart aches

know she is sitting there

and will remain

even when the tears end.

For now, it’s okay

to let them flow.

She would understand.

Clouds on your lungs

scattered to conquer

and end your hope.

Say goodbye

with a cuddle and soft words,

rest with peace,

knowing you are loved.

Forever loved.

(We found out Mufasa -our beautiful bunny girl- also had tumours on her lungs, and so we had to say goodbye).