Scribbled Thoughts

Proof has arrived,

you can breathe again

knowing you are still worth something,

have the chance

to create another.

Prepare your nest

and anticipate the making,

have some fun

for a change.

Adjust your body

and suffer its shocked response.

Resist cravings, comforts

and harden your resolve

to succeed this time,

to stay strong

and transform yourself

into the vessel you need

to really be yourself

at last.

Phantom pain for

an imaginary future,

painted and framed

before the first step

is complete.

Watch it fall and crash

to the floor

when the truth is

revealed as a fantasy

you were too late

to grasp.

Bleed to feel complete,

worthy,

a clear red sign of life

and life-giving

so you can breathe

and hope again.

Wait and see,

wait to live.

Craft beneath nature

the dying colours of Autumn

reflected on your saw,

shaping the carcass of trees

while you bask

in its children’s splenda.

They weep dead leaves

upon you

as you continue

defiling their friends,

but you are human,

deaf to their pain,

and continue to fill

the world with trinkets.

Chondite chunks of collision

whacking, shaping into polished ingots.

Hours, days of grinding

to produce this one step

in a greater journey.

Perhaps you should have stayed

amongst the stars.

Dawn stained the sky

chasing away the peace of night

and summoning the noise

of life and responsibility.

Stumble awake and join them

or be left behind

and forgotten.

Bleed out,

anticipate a year away

as your life seeps

between bloodless fingers

straining to contain

what you can

and prolong your meaning

just a little longer.

Tally another year

to your life

and celebrate the day

to make it feel special,

just like everyone else.

Treat yourself to materials

and consumables,

entertain with preferences

to satisfy the

passing of your time.

Grateful or regretful?

Either way

it has come.

Set a challenge

to push yourself

into action.

Motivate what should

already be second-nature,

self-preservation,

an anticipated activity

you have pushed aside

for the mundane

and uninspired.

Remember the feel

of creation,

the breath of paper,

the conjuring of life

with ink

that pulls you away

and makes you

who you are.