Scribbled Thoughts

Chop, chisel, simmer,

reduce to produce

and create something new

to make your day

worth it.

Update my week,

control my movements

so I can plot the in-between.

Leaving me in limbo

is stripping any last

free-will away.

Perhaps that’s the plan,

to make us less than human

one more.

Command technology

to produce sound

while you stare

at a tree’s carcass

and try to imagine

melting one form into another,

then molding it to a more

pleasing sight.

How does it feel,

what movements are needed,

and how can you convey this

to someone even more clueless

than you.

How do you make them believe.

Five hundred in a row

to weave words

into meaning,

try to inspire

try to exhume feelings

for better health

and peace of mind.

Days in succession,

each goal achieved,

continue the trend

and count the growing

chances to understand.

Prepare to be watched

and judged

for a role you’ve been

fulfilling for years

but is finally being

acknowledged.

Discover the joys of

the beginning,

relearning,

and feeling the thrill

you’ll be able to

list your skills

and pronounce your

profession in the

present tense.

Veiled through a fog

that restricts actions

but not demand,

impatient ghosts

scream into an aching head

watching at the collapse

and scolding all as useless.

Essential tool

absent again,

carelessly left for another

to claim,

drain its battery

and hold hostage.

Fruitless searching

to unearth a dead replacement

while everyone else

pretends not to notice.

Hesitate to connect

from the looming shadow

of inevitable departure,

stay instead in neutral limbo,

feelings safe,

unused,

never fully realised

but never fully endangered.

It’s okay to protect yourself

sometimes.

One sentence of venom

to destroy all self-worth,

even when it’s wrong

even when you know that,

it still shatters all progress

and sinks you into doubt.

Too tired to be angry,

too defeated to fight back.

Seeping your motivation

with a lump presence

that saps all intention

and ruins a streak of activity.

Wait for action

you know isn’t coming,

always hopeful this time

will be different

and it won’t be down to you

for a spark to ignite

on wet rock.